A Hard Candy Christmas

Hey, maybe I’ll dye my hair
Maybe I’ll move somewhere
Maybe I’ll get a car
Maybe I’ll drive so far
They’ll all lose track
Me, I’ll bounce right back

Maybe I’ll sleep real late
Maybe I’ll lose some weight
Maybe I’ll clear my junk
Maybe I’ll just get drunk on apple wine
Me, I’ll be just

Fine and Dandy
Lord it’s like a hard candy christmas
I’m barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won’t let
Sorrow bring me way down



Hello everyone! It’s that time again. I swear it seems once Halloween gets here then Thanksgiving is 5 minutes after. Then, just as your starting to digest your food….. Christmas comes to slap you in the face. For some years now I’ve not thought of Christmas as the happiest of times due to family stuff but over time I’ve gotten better. I had actually planned to try to write something yesterday but I’m glad I didn’t. I was in a uhh let’s just say fowl mood. Unfortunately for me I’m not able to mask very well if something is wrong with me. All through the day friends at work were like, “Are you ok? You seem down.” With a quick, exasperated smile I would say no & that I was just tired. Then I get to the gym & see other people I know. ”Nick…. you seem a little…..” Even before the sentence was out I would quickly exclaim all was well & that I was just trying to get my workout done. I swear, sometimes having an expressive face is an annoyance. But, like most things with me…. I refuse to be down about anything for too long. Just like Dolly Parton in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas I’ll be fine & dandy. I always liked the words to that song. Recently, I did just die my hair. Although given my current state maybe I should have went dark & brooding. I don’t plan on moving anywhere (yet). I don’t like cars so I don’t plan on getting one (unless I would per se move). If any one loses track… well how did that happen when I’m on every social network known to man it seems? I’m not really a texter so if you want to talk to me that’s what you’re gonna have to do…. talk… to… me.

Today is my last day of work because my agency is closed until January 5th, which is incredibly nice. I’m looking forward to sleeping in, staying in the gym longer, cleaning out the junk & I’m sure I’ll imbibe on something festive over the holidays. They say the holidays are some of the most drunken times. Last year I didn’t play apart of that since I could not drink. But it seems this year I’ve somehow tried to make up for it. Which has me thinking that it’s time to calm myself down. The last few weeks have gotten a bit out of control & next thing you know there are drunk & scandalous pics of me being tagged on facebook. Dammit, where is my publicist when I need her to make sure these things don’t happen? This is why I always say take pics at the beginning of the night & then when things get out of control hide the damn camera!



Hey, maybe I’ll learn to sew
Maybe I’ll just lie low
Maybe I’ll hit the bars
Maybe I’ll count the stars until dawn
Me, I will go on

Maybe I’ll settle down
Maybe I’ll just leave town
Maybe I’ll have some fun
Maybe I’ll meet someone
And make him mine
Me, I’ll be just

Fine and dandy
Lord it’s like a hard candy christmas
I’m barely getting throung tomorrow
But still I won’t let sorrow bring me way down



Hmmm learning to sew may not be my thing but it would certainly be helpful. Lying low is easy. I love my me, myself & I time. Hitting the bars? I think I covered that in the last paragraph. Counting the stars is not something I have done in NYC ever. I don’t think I have ever properly paid attention to it. Settling down & making someone mine was done before, it didn’t work out so well. Not to say I do not discount it. I marched proudly twice for the rights to gay marriage. Equal rights ARE equal rights. Last night I was chatting with a friend who was mentioning he may want to marry his bf & I said well you can count on me to be your best man. Like anything, it has its ups & downs. I think about this time last year & how it was right before another big change was about to go down. Somehow over the year I’ve celebrated and grieved it’s loss more then I would like to admit. A sigh as the writer takes a minute to think.

This Christmas I have once again decided to stay in NYC for the holidays. I haven’t been to NC for Xmas in yrs. It hasn’t felt the same since my grandmother died so I like to celebrate Xmas my own way, with friends who have decided to stay here as well. I’ve also decided to go down to NC when it’s a lil bit warmer & I can escape the cold here (since I’m sure it will be cold here for many months to come). I don’t really have any New Years Eve plans yet. I have done the megaclub, I have done the stay at home, I have done the house party. I think that’s what I prefer at this point. I’ll keep you updated but that is next week. As for this one, Santa Claus is coming to town even though the economy sucks. As long as he brings my friends & some music & a lil bit of booze….. I’ll be fine and dandy.

21st Century Life

Originally I had planned to write something right after Halloween. I figured you would want to hear about all the shenanigans that took place. There were plenty believe me. I posted pics on here & Facebook & by the beginning of the week I had put myself on hiatus from everyone because I was so tired & needed some major me, myself & I time. We all had a great time. But, there were some moments that could not escape my thoughts. Just a year ago I wasn't celebrating Halloween because I was worried someone would hit my head with something. I also felt like I looked scary enough to not even need a costume. I stayed in the apt with Scott & Larry & we watched scary movies & ate pizza. So this year I was excited to actually be able to celebrate & not be worried about anything. I dressed as a semi-wrestler. Ok I know, anything to be semi-naked. I originally planned to do a Roman soldier look but then everyone in Gay Manhattan decided to do the same look & clearly I'm not a follower so I had to take that back. Some friends dressed as variations of bunnies & Scott was a disco soul white man with black afro. We all got together at Wissam's & drank & got ready for the parade. We took pictures & had a wonderful time. Then the night came & there were at least 3 different occasions where we encountered hate. In Chelsea of all places. Some straight idiots had yelled out fags to my friends walking in front of me. My friend yelled back, "That's right bitch so get out of Chelsea!" Then, a few blocks later, we encountered some small children in their get ups. They couldn't have been more then 5 or 6 yrs old. One of them grumbled 'homos' as he went by. The older guys didn't shock me but this did. This kind of behavior had to be taught. When I was that age I didn't know what that word was. Even though we all had a blast that night I couldn't help but think & wonder why hate begats hate.

A few days later was the election. Time Square was packed & you would have thought it was New Years Eve. My own friends spent the time together & said, "Yes! We Did It! Yes! We Can!" I went to bed with a smile on my face. It was a wonderful feeling to know that someone with merit can become president & it didn't matter what color their skin was. It felt like we were finally taking a step forward. But then the next day my happiness was quickly taken away. As everyone else was taking a step forward the news came that Proposition 8 passed in California. It was like ok, a lot of you can step forward but the rest of you need to take a step back. Go & sit in the back of the bus. You are a second class citizen. What was also hard to hear was that 70% of African Americans & a large percentage of Latino's voted for this Proposition as well. What the hell people? Why would groups that experienced & still experience discrimination inflict it upon others? Why does hate begat hate?

What happened to that phrase 'Do unto other's as you would have do unto you.' Yes, that's what I thought. Do only when it's convenient. And what about this sanctity of marriage thing? Bull shit. If it was so important then I doubt half of all marriages would be ending in divorce. I didn't initially mean to make this a rant blog. As we know, that's not my style. But, deep down I never thought Prop 8 would pass. I thought we had been taking great strides in the way adjusting what people thought about us. I just assumed it was crazy so called religious people & that number wasn't that much. That's where I & so many other people I know thought wrong. Don't discount the crazy's. They apparently travel in large numbers. Well the alarm has went off & something must be done. I'm going to a few protests this week & I'll let you know how it goes. I never figured myself to be the protest type but things change. Hate has to stop. Another change has gonna have to come.

But when the night is falling
And you cannot find the light
If you feel your dream is dying
Hold tight
You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget you only get what you give

NickyBoomBox Goes GaGa

I’m waiting
For my moment to come
I’m waiting
For the movie to begin
I’m waiting
For a revelation
I’m waiting for someone
To count me in

Cos now
I only see my dreams
In everything I touch
Feel their cold hands on
Everything that I love
Cold like some
Magnificant skyline
Out of my reach
But always
In my eyeline now



I realize it’s been a long time since I’ve blogged & the last time I came back after such an absence I told you all about having a tumor. Well you can all rest assured that I’m not gonna hit you with bad news. This time last year, I was dealing with the aftermath of a brain tumor. I didn’t want to be seen & I was still out of work & not about to celebrate Halloween for fear someone would hit me in the head. Now, a year later, I found myself feeling a lil melancholy & thinking about all the bad things that I had gone through. I also found myself watching plenty of shows that dealt with accidents, tumors & brain surgeries. Eli Stone, Grey’s Anatomy & Lipstick Jungle had these in a few of their episodes. Almost making me emotional, I was glad to have Samantha Who to have some much needed comic relief. When I went back to the hospital I found the whole scenario kind of anti-climatic. The MRI showed the same result that it had showed back in April which IS good news. The doctor told me I will have to have these for years to come every 6 months. I don’t look forward to because it somehow drudges up these emotions every time I go in. But hey, what can you do? As long as it shows I’m ok I am happy.

So since the bday fall has come with a quickness. It’s much colder then I anticipated & for my first Halloween since 06 I’ll probably be covered up more then I would like. Then again this is me we’re talking about so I’m sure I’ll end up semi-clothed sometime in the night. I also caught the Madonna show at MSG which was good but definitely not my favorite. I was amazed at how much she danced. I aspire to have such movement in 20 yrs! For me though, it wasn’t the same as the experience I had seeing her at Roseland back in April. There was something about the intimateness of it & plus she was so incredibly close to me. It’s one thing to have your idol so close but then quite another to pay a lot of money to see her but then feel like you’re still miles away.

Last night, I saw lady GaGa at Highline Ballroom & man oh man it was awesome. I realize that many of you may not know her but she has become my favorite artist of the year. She’s new & fresh & has the perfect sound of what pop music should be. Her single ‘Just Dance’ has gone to #1 in Canada & Australia & I’m sure once it’s released in the UK it will have a similar fate. Unfortunately, here in the states it’s not found the same success. Meanwhile she’s written for Britney & the Pussycat Dolls, who’s sound is very similar. Watching Christina Aguilera on the VMA’s & seeing her new video I was like “Ahh!!!! She’s ripping on my GaGa!” But anyway, back to the show. There were quite a few other performers & they did their thing. Cazwell & Amanda Lepore came out & by the time Amanda ’sang’ her infamous line of “I don’t know much about clothes but my hair looks FIERCE!” she was completely nude. Which I’ve seen plenty of times before. I swear I’ve seen her titties & plastic whooha more then I’ve seen my own perky busoms & goodies! But this I will say it always gets the crowds attention. I had a LOT of girls around me who was just open mouthed as they witnessed such provocativeness. There was also a group called Semi Precious Weapons who were rockers. And boy oh boy did they rock. The lead singer called us all cunts & said that we will never see something as hot as him. Being that if it’s in my mind then it’s on my face, I begged to differ. But kudos to his crazy cracka ass for having some witty things to say. He also pulled this girl on stage & danced with her all wildy. He poured water all over her & then proceeded to rip her shirt off. I saw more titties in one night then I’ve seen all year! Then Lady GaGa took the stage & tore it up. It was great to see an artist perform with such hunger & love for her audience. Not someone who looks like they’re just going through motions or just trying to get a paycheck. I’m not mentioning any names but when she said “I love you guys” I seriously felt she meant it. She even crowd dived 6 times almost letting her fans whisk her away. I also found her to be very genuine when I met her before the show. She signed my cd & was looking Gagalicious. I paid $14 for this show & I definitely felt like I got my money’s worth. This Saturday I’m suppose to see Janet & I have a pretty good seat so we’ll see how that goes. I’ve already read the reviews & know the drama about her canceling her NY show a week ago. I’ll let you know.

In other NSP news, my antics out & about have had a crazy twist of events. I was kicked out of a club folks! Last Saturday night I was dancing with my peeps at Splash, somewhere we have been going since Roxy has been closed. Now before your eyes get all big let me say this, I was sober! I’d had some drinks but was not even buzzed. We were dancing near our friend Danny who was deejaying when all of a sudden I saw this drunk mess walk by us & he throws his empty glass at my feet. It had not broke when it hit the floor & the only thing I thought to do was kick it out of our direction. I didn’t want any one of us to slip or something. Then, a bouncer comes up to me saying “I saw you click that glass!” I said yes & told him why but he had not seen the other guy throw it. It became a complete misunderstanding & it was like when you’re in school & the teacher punishes you for something some other brat does. I then called him a dick for the way he was talking to me, which didn’t help matters. But seriously, I only speak the truth. What I find amusing is out of ALL the drunken shenanigans I know I have done over the years I got thrown out by being sober & just trying to do what I thought was a good thing. Oh well, NickyBoomBox will survive & dance again. A plague to that mofo’s house & after the way I was treated I will not be going there again. So I’ll end with this, have a safe & happy Halloween. Get your tricks & make sure they give you some treats. Not anything that has to be cured by penicillin though! I’ll also make sure I write more next week to let you know about Janet & oh yes, how my Halloween was & just what provocative costume I wore or didn’t wear wink wink.

Dirty, Flirty & 30

Nickakah came, saw, & conquered. I've finally gathered up some sleep & can put together the memories of what was one of the most fun weeks I had in quite some time. I started off celebrating by going to 6 Flags with Larry, Ej & Jeremy. Larry almost wasn't able to get in because his shirt was deemed offensive. It said 'Rick Said Good Evening Bitches'. Mind you I don't see how this should be offensive but it's hard to offend me. What WAS offensive were the prices for food. $17 for a small burger & small fries & a drink? Now that's offensive bitches! I also couldn't help but think that the next time I go I'll rock the Flash Pass. Without it you just stand in lines waiting & waiting & any one who knows me, knows how much I HATE to wait. As we were waiting for one ride, a conductor in the most monotone voice ever would finish her spiel by saying, "This will change your life." After hearing that at least 15 times I was ready to let her know that it BETTER change my life. This was a water ride & I had been wanting to ride it for hours because it was so hot outside. By the time it was over I felt like I had been spritzed & Ej walked away soaked. Clearly that ride did not change my life. After all was said & done, I had my most fun on the tea cups. I had that thing spinning round & round & faster then any one else's. I felt like I was getting an arm & ab workout & then trying to walk off of it, I felt like I was drunk. A workout with a shot of a buzz? Clearly the one for me. The next day I got myself up to go to Fire Island. It should be noted that I should have known how it was going to go when I got on the train & then the conductor told at least 20 of us to take another train. As I got on I thought something about this doesn't seem right. Turns out I was right. He had sent us on the wrong train so I then had to switch at another stop just to go back to my original stop. It ended up taking me 4 hrs to get out there. The rest of the trip had similar craziness but I wasn't surprised. The actual Pines Party that I went to was tons of fun & I had a blast dancing for hours with all my boys. Jordan had managed to get Chase & I in for free as long as we worked for a few hours. We were security. Now, Chase as security I can totally see. As for me, not so much. But being this was with the gays we didn't have to worry about fights, just blow jobs in corners & extra curricular activities. All the while I still managed to have a drink in my hands & in my book that is a wonderful way to work security. Once it was over, in true Nick out to Fire Island form it rained. I can never seem to make it out there for actual sun. It's a good thing I have other ways to tan here in the city. By Monday I decided I needed to just go to work & then to dance class. I knew that I was going to need all the sleep I could get for the next 6 days of Nickakah.

Tuesday night was the official kick off to all things ME. I decided to go to Pieces & do a little karaoke. It was a lovely way to start. The drag queen decided that it would be a good idea for me to take off my shirt after I sang Tears Dry On Their Own. I said no. She said, "Take it off." I said, "What do I get for it?" She said, "Drink tickets." That seemed reason enough for me & after that she also let my friend Krista get up & sing some Janis Joplin without putting a slip in. Ahhh, the things I do for friends & drink tickets. Seen at the kick off: Scott, Larry, Ej, Nicole, Jeremy, Chase, Gilbert, Lil Tom, Jon & with a very special guest appearance by Vadim. All day long he had been telling me he was too tired to make it. He had even done a fake call at 10 pm saying he was going to sleep. So imagine my shock when I saw Basic Trash make his way through the crowd. It was a great way to kick things off & I had a blast with all my peeps.


I’ve had a little bit too much
All of the people start to rush. Start to rush by.
How does he twist the dance?
Can’t find my drink oh man.
Where are my keys, I lost my phone.
What’s go-ing out on the floor?
I love this record baby, but I can’t see straight anymore.
Keep it cool what’s the name of this club?
I can’t remember but it’s alright, alright.


Wednesday was my last day of work for the week & I decided that night I would usher in 30 by entering in a talent competition at Therapy for their Cattle Call night hosted by Peppermint Gummybear. Yes, she's a drag queen for those that don't know. I told only a few people because this was my first time performing in front of people for quite some time & my nerves were getting the best of me. The place was packed & when my name was called first I wanted to throw up a little. To add there were 2 other people there celebrating their bdays as well. I was like these bitches are stealing my thunder! But, as soon as I got on the stage & a light shun on me.... I felt back in my element. I performed Fever which was always a Greatest Hit for me so to speak. People yelled & hollered & during a key moment of the song Peppermint came over & helped rip my shirt open, then proceeded to rub what I swear felt like Crisco on my chest. The crowd roared & I ate it up. Those other bday bitches weren't gonna steal this thunder now! After me were 2 other guys. One sang a....uhhhh....(think of something nice to say)....neat version of I am Changing from Dreamgirls. The other had a guitar & sang something that I couldn't make out. It was slow & draggy & then I heard my friend say, "At least you kept people watching you!" It didn't get better after that because it was then a black guy in a wig doing his best uh errr drag. I could have done a better job but once again, if I can't say anything nice then I won't say anything at all. As we moved on to the next, it was Angelique Ali. I've heard her out & about for years & she's famous in the scene. I was fully prepared to come in 2nd to her. She has an amazing voice & sounds like Deborah Cox. She came out in an evening gown which just added to her fabulousness. Oh & I should add, she is trannylicious. That's right, when she speaks she's got this low low tone to her voice and a penis. Penis or no penis, she sang & brought the house down. Scott looked at me & tapped me on the shoulder & said, "At least you'll get 2nd." Then the last performer came out on the stage & was ummm either a girl dressed as a man or a really, really odd looking midget man. IT got on stage & sang something that sounded like 5 rats fighting over a piece of cheese & then did a 'performance piece' to Breakin Dishes (which is one of my favorite Rihanna songs). Then IT threw out paper plates during the chorus & I couldn't watch it anymore. Seriously, was this entertainment? Imagine my utter shock when we got on stage & it came down between IT & Angelique. Apparently IT had a lot of friends to show up & cheer IT on. I had barely told people because I was worried I may suck. Guess I should have made that the kick off. Then in a very shocking moment while we were standing on stage, these 2 guys sitting near us got into a bitch fight. Next thing you know I hear yelling & glasses flying. Literally, bitches were breakin dishes up in there! A piece came to the stage & hit Angelique in the forehead. She fell back against me & I thought, "Tranny down! Tranny down! I need back up!" Guess I was gonna be security after all. Things were finally composed & they were escorted out & the winner was announced to be IT. Honestly, I can't remember the name so I called it IT. I then joked that Angelique & I lost to Pat from SNL! She thought it was funny & then she asked me where she knew me from. The guy with the guitar then said it as well & added, "I feel like I should know you because you're famous or something." I joked that if I was indeed famous then I would NOT be opening for IT/Pat. I then said I would open for Angelique any time & she raised her eyebrow & smiled. Uh oh clearly she took that not the way I intended. So then it was back to hanging with my friends who had showed up to see me. Seen: Scott, Daniel, Ricardo, their friend whose name eludes me right now, Ej, Sean, Mickey & Nico.

I woke up late Thursday morning & thought about how now I was officially in the 30's club. I decided I needed to go downtown & do some shopping. I tried on jeans & got all excited to know that waist 30 fit me & my ass perfectly. The shirts fit me perfectly & showed off the perky busoms just the way they should. If this is how 30 looks then 30 looks good bitches. My ego was stroked tremendously when I told the salesgirl it was my bday & she asked how old I was turning. I told her 30 & she looked shocked. She exclaimed that I looked 25. I said thank you & beamed with excitement. That night I invited a few peeps over for bday cake. (Not too much, how else do you think I stay like this?) I welcomed gifts from Ej, Larry & Jordan & we had some drinks before we went to the Ritz. Seen: Ej, Larry, Jordan, Scott, Vadim, Big Tom, Tommy & John. Then we all went to Ritz without Big Tom because he was a tired, tired man. At first there was no one at Ritz but my friends which felt nice. Dj Danny played music that only we wanted to hear & Vadim said, "Oh no! Your bday is turning into just what mine had! No one comes!" He seemed more upset then I was because he was living vicariously through Nickakah. Someone would say Happy Bday Nick & he would say thank you. Just when we thought there would be no crowd Natasha aka Jackee Star Jones came into the room. Rocking a new wig & mad Bday love she worked the stairs. Before I knew it, I turned around & the room was filled. I was working the fan, Nicole was spinning around & Vadim was happy his vicarious bday was gonna be a success. Dj Danny even gave me a bday shout over the mic & I jumped up & down. Seen: Billy & his bf John, Dennis, Jason, Russell Murray, Colin aka Fake Billy, other people I'm forgetting now but you have all my love. At one point in the night this guy came up to me & said, "I love your films." I felt puzzled. How did he know where to look out for me in Glitter or the other movie that no one saw called New Best Friend. So I said, "What are you talking about?" "Your films! I get off to you all the time." Then it hit me! "Ummm, I don't do porn." He looked shocked & then said, "Whatever, I know it's you. You just don't what everyone to know & say something to you." He then turned away & went back to his friends. I thought it was funny how apparently everyone is sure I'm famous in one way or another. I went back to dancing & then Danny played something like Britney or something sexy & I found myself doing a danceoff with Jackee Star Jones. I started dancing all sexually suggestive with myself & then the dude came back to me & said, "Ok you're gonna dance like that & say you DON'T do porn? Right!" Shortly after I met a guy who was flirting with me & then I decided to take him home. That's right I was going to have a bizzniss associate after all. I thought, "Hey! It's my bday! I should get some bday sex out of it." Everything seemed nice until he decided to talk. He was from California & had this surfer way of speaking. Which I can be fine with but it must be said, I'm not much of a talker during sexy times. Don't tell me what you're gonna do, don't give me a dramatic monologue, just do it. Honestly, it felt like a bad porn & being that I was just told I did porn this was not helping. He then says, "Awww seriously.... this ass is hot." All of a sudden I flashed to the conductor at 6 Flags with the monotone voice & thought, "This ass will change your life." Which proceeded to put me in a fit of giggles. Which must have not helped his ego. Needless to say not the sexiest of times was had.


Wish I could shut my playboy mouth.
How’d I turn my shirt inside out? Inside out babe.
Control your poison babe
Roses have thorns they say.
And we’re all gettin’ hosed tonight.
What’s go-ing out on the floor?
I love this record baby, but I can’t see straight anymore.
Keep it cool what’s the name of this club?
I can’t remember but it’s alright, alright.


Friday ended up being a small crew of us going to Pyramid. A few peeps flaked out but don't worry, I still got mad love for you Jackie & Shaq. Chip who we refer to as Uncle Fester even changed up his mix tape & threw in some 80's jams I haven't heard in ages. Sheena Easton's Strut had me doing JUST that. We had our own highlights of the night by changing the words to Papa Don't Preach. But, my highlight was Scott & I using a very long piece of fabric to do a dance that was So You Think Can Dance Mia Michael's contemporary worthy. Normally my grooves are premeditated but this dance fully had him & I creating on the spot. It was fabu. Seen: Scott, Larry, Vadim, Ej, Andy, Kevi Kev, his friend Wayne & Jeremy

Saturday was meant to be spent at the Pier but the rain canceled out that plan. Instead Larry, Scott & I decided to do my double feature plan of seeing 2 movies for the price of 1. We watched The Dark Knight which I found to be entertaining but not as great as everyone has hyped it up to be. Heath was good as the Joker but really? Oscar worthy? Hmmmm. Maybe I'll have to watch it again to fully GET it but not any time soon. We then watched Mamma Mia. The best singer was the girl from Mean Girls. Who know! Screw Lindsay Lohan trying to release a hot song. Someone sign this girl up! Meryl was good & gave a good performance especially during the Winner Takes It All. Christine Baranski & the other lady playing her friend was wonderful. I could have done without Pierce & his singing. I felt like he was yelling at me. All in all the experiences were good but honestly & it must be said..... do not bring your baby to the movies! This couple in front of me in the Dark Knight drove us nuts with their loud ass baby! Then in Mamma Mia these 2 teenage girls sitting a few seats down from me were driving me crazy talking about random high school shit. OMFG I AM getting old, teenage girls are driving me crazy! So other then that we had a nice time. Double features is fun & it's the only way I like to watch movies. It's a bit of a commitment though. 6 hours in a movie theater can make your ass sore! Later, Vadim had a save the animals meeting he had to do in Union Sq & Scott & I decided to have some pre drinks before we went to Splash. Tons of fun was had & we danced our asses off & Scott & I even re-enacted out string dance. It wasn't as great as the night before due to the fact that we had limited space. But either way we gave it to the fans! Seen: Scott, Vadim, Nicole, Rob, Brad, Jude, Frank, Matt B, Chase, Lil Tom, Erick, Erica, Kevin M & Dennis. At the end of the night Scott ended up staying with me. I wanted to make sure he would be on time for brunch & not accidentally sleep through it. I asked for a hot man in my bed & instead I get Scott! Just kidding Scott. We had a nice time & watched Sordid Lives on Logo & then finally went to sleep.

Sunday was a gathering at HK for brunch. As I have stated before, when we do brunch we do it right. Drinking mimosa's & bellini's for hours upon hours. Vadim, Scott, Larry, Ej, Nathan, Tasia, Pricilla & I had a lovely time. Discussing all the events of Nickakah & how next year Vadim is going to celebrate his bday as well during Nickakah. Which I will not be having, This was the first year where I was constantly hearing it was someone's bday as well. It was really odd. There were the 2 at Therapy & then just walking around the street I would hear convo's about so & so's bday. Either way no one stole my thunder. There were some people that I expected a little more from. I'll not name any names & it's not like I should be incredibly shocked due to the past circumstances. It just makes me that more thankful for the people I did have. Which is why I try to celebrate as much as possible because I know other people have things to do. But seriously, when you can't make at least ONE event? That's seriously putting you in the DTM category. Now, I'm sure there will be some people reading this & there are a few people I knew had stuff going on so i understand. I'm not that selfish. As for the others ooooo my memory is long, very, very long. Unless I have been drinking. What definitely HAS to be said is there was one person who made every single event.... Scott. I realize I celebrate for days & I also realize not everyone can keep up with me.


Don't stop me now, don't need to catch my breath
I can go on and on and on
When the lights go down and there's no one left
I can go on and on and on


So Scott big ups to you for Giving it 2 me for each & every single event. I definitely owe you the best of me. Thank goodness your bday is still some time away so I can fully rest for it lol. And many, many thanks to all my ladies & gents who showed just how much love they have for me. Vadim, my Basic Trash Pencil Buddy work that couture. Larry, 7 yrs & still offensive & going strong. I wouldn't have it any other way. Ej, forever having a new scheme. As for this no sex thing? Well you still have another month so I'll try to have enough for the both of us. I would add more here but it would just make this blog longer & I know how much you guys hate to read too much. I still would like to use a blog to reflect upon the 20's but as for now here's hello to my 30's. Are you ready bitches?


Just dance. Gonna be okay.
Da-da-doo-doo
Just dance. Spin that record babe.
Da-da-doo-doo
Just dance. Gunna be okay.
Duh-duh-duh
Dance. Dance. Dance. Ju-ju-ju-just dance.

Goodbye To Innocence

It's the eve of my birthday & the number 30 is about to make love to my face. It's a kiss I have not been yearning for. I spent the earlier part of the day writing this fabulous blog. Unfortunately, Safari decided to shut down & all my wonderful words were erased. At least it can't take away my memories dammit. My work day is almost over & I plan on taking off tomorrow & Friday as well. Nickakah is in full swing & believe me I will be discussing it really soon. I would also still like to take a blog to wax poetic on the decade that has seen me go through hairstyles, colors, women, men, jobs, cities, states, you name it. It was a time for learning things about myself & coming into my own. I remember years ago I was always attracted to older guys. Men in their 30's just seemed to have it more together. Ofcourse that wasn't always the truth but it was something I was attracted to. How funny it is now when I get hit on by young boys. I was reminded of me from so long ago. So here's to hoping that I exhibit the qualities that I used to be so attracted to. Because if this is where I am in life at my thirties in seems a nice place to start. So at around 4 something in the morning it will be official. Is it any shock that I came into this world in the middle of the night? Of course not, the night time is when I'm at my most festive. Goodbye to an innocence that I will remember fondly & hello to everything that awaits me.

Too Much Pride

It's Thursday & I'm finally back at work properly after only working half a day on Tuesday. Why you ask? Well, at 4 something Monday morning I woke up covered in sweat & my sheets soaked. I had a fever & my throat was sore. A few hours later I called into work sick & went to the store to get tylenol & all that other stuff that's suppose to make you better. By Tuesday I went back to work but by this point my throat was massively swollen & it hurt to swallow. Everyone at work said we figured you were just calling out of work because it was Pride weekend. I wish that had been the case. I went to the dr on my lunch break & found out I had acute tonsillitis. He also said I could be contagious so I needed to be alone for at least 24 hrs once the anti-biotics kicked in. I was like wow, if this is what it's like acute then I'd hate to see what it's like if it was called unattractive tonsillitis. Solitary confinement is not fun. I mean we all know how much I love my me, myself & I time but being forced to is not fun. Yesterday I decided I would go to the movies & do my classic double feature. Pay for one movie & then sneak into another when it is done. I watched Hancock & Wall E, both I would highly recommend. I would have snuck into another but alas, my ass was tired of sitting.

But I digress, let's chat about what I think brought about this whole acute tonsillitis. Last week was Pride week here in NYC & my friends & I had tons of it. This is Vadim's holiday & he had been figuring out what he was going to wear since the day after Pride a year ago. Don't laugh, it's his thing. This was also Scott's first Pride so we had to make sure to do it up right for him. We officially kicked it off on Thursday by going to an Out magazine party where our friend Joe was deejaying. There wasn't dancing really but when he put on my second favorite dance song of all time 'You Used To Hold Me' I couldn't help myself, I had to shake my ass a little. All the while, double fisting. That's right. My tolerance has come back. It's not it's full capacity but it definitely is better then it was. After the Out party we headed over to the Ritz to meet up with the rest of our crew. Tons of dancing & posing ensued & I rocked the stairs with Jackee Star Jones. Who is that you may ask? Well it's a name Vadim & I have given a drag queen there. She always works the stairs & wears a black bob wig & black glasses. Before, it had been a long, curly, luxurious do. But I'm assuming that is just TOO much hair now that it's summer in the city. We get the name from Jackee who used to be on 227. We've found tons of ways to bring those characters to our life. In my building, on the first floor there is a sweet older latina lady & she just sits at the window watching everyone's business. We call her Pearl. 227 was fabulous. There ain't no place like home. I mean no place child.

So, back to Pride. After a tiring day at work, I went home to take a small disco nap. I had to prep myself for Friday night's Madonnathon at Pyramid. I had also convinced my straight roommate to come out with us. He's been bringing up the fact that he wishes he could have the gay lifestyle & has been a little jealous of my antics recently. I seem to go through phases. Either I'm incredibly virginal or I'm a raving sex-omatic. I've been calling it my Virgin/Whore Complex Tour. So for me to do my best at getting a straight man laid was going to be hard. There are tons of girls who show up to Pyramid on Friday nights so I figured he had a pretty good chance. I was doing my best until I got sidetracked by a hot piece of man on the go go box. Then it was each man for his own. I jumped on the box, ditched the shirt & started making out with him. This continued for a while until he said he had to leave. Either way, it wasn't gonna break my stride. I continued dancing & then somehow magically found myself in the arms of someone I knew for quite some time. All of us had given him the nickname Whore of Charm School. Now I was in his web. What can I say? I kissed a boy & I liked it. The taste of his cherry chap stick. It felt so wrong, it felt so right. It definitely didn't mean I was in love that night. In the midst of all that he then told me had a boyfriend & felt all kinds of bad about what he was doing so he abruptly left. Once again, my stride wasn't broken. We stayed & danced for quite a while. My straight roommate had long given up on the 2 girls he was trying to woo & by this time he had decided to leave. We ended our night with apparently one more guy asking if I would make out with him & being that I was apparently giving it out so freely I did. Then, Vadim & I left & went walking the streets of the East Village. It was there we came across this rather cute guy who stopped & talked with us. We went back to his apartment & the conversation would go kind of like this. Guy to me: Ummm you're really cute. I'd smile. Vadim would all of a sudden say Thank You! Laughter would ensue & then he'd say you have really nice skin tone. I'd smile. Vadim would again say Thank You! The night ended with Vadim leaving & me staying. You can use your imagine but I will say I didn't fully seal the deal on it.

By the next morning I felt hungover & hot. This guy had no AC & I was in need of getting the fuck out. So on my walk of shame I went. The day consisted of me doing laundry & other odds & ends & I met up with Sean so he could put some highlights in my hair. Later that night we all went to Splash & I ended up keeping my Maneater ways under control. A guy that I had had my first real date with in almost 3 yrs had meant to show up but ended up not getting in because the club was filled to capacity so they weren't letting any one else in. So we all danced the night away & then went home. Sunday was the day of the parade & I met up with everyone at different locations. I went up to Jason's work office to go to the bathroom & hang out when all of a sudden the clouds came over & a flood of rain came over the parade. It didn't seem to phase many people as they just took off their shirts & dance & run around in the parade. Scott looked like a kid in a candy store to me. It was his first parade & visions of sugar plum bottoms were all dancing in his head. I was reminded of my first pride in 2000 when I was 21 & I ended up going to to Jersey with a couple. Sigh. Oh how innocent I was then. Now it's 8 years later & I'm almost taking over the role of the Whore of Charm School. But maybe I'm being too hard on myself. Maybe it's just that virgin/whore complex I've been having. Maybe it's the fact that I have friggin tonsillitis & I'm just sure I got it from my antics of Friday night. Anyway, whatever it is it is. All in all Pride was a wonderful time. We finished the day off by going to Dallas BBQ & then hanging out some more at Jason's. The night ended with some drama that I won't get into but I did find myself back at Jordan's apartment. Unfortunately, he had received some bad news about his grandmother. A couple days ago, she passed away. I couldn't help but think about how when mine had passed & how I took the news alone. I figured no one else should have to do the same. What I found interesting was the fact that he called me. As it turns out, some times we still use each other as the go to if something go wrong. I guess when you're used to something for so long it's easy to revisit & count on it. I was just glad to be able to be there. I do know that when I got sick at the beginning of the week I did remember how easier it was when I wasn't single & I could lay in bed & someone else would make chicken soup or whatever. But that's how it is, you get the pro's & con's with everything.

As for this weekend I think I'll keep it a calm one. I'm perfectly ok with it. Yesterday my sister turned 20 & I'm once again reminded that my bday is just right around the corner. The big 3-0. Sigh. It is what it is. I'll still keep on being fabulous.

My Trip To Fire Island Part 2

Recently, I was talking to my friend Nathan about how I may need to give Fire Island another chance. Anyone who KNOWS me, knows it's not held the fondest memories. Scratch that, I just read my first blog about it & a few others & was reminded of some happy times. So let me say this, it's like if I watch a movie & I'm loving it. Then, the end comes & it absolutely sucks. It will make me dislike the whole movie, even if it had good parts about it. So I'll just put it like this. I needed to try it on my own terms & do it the way I would want to do. So when Nathan told me I should take his place in his house since he couldn't be there, I decided to jump at the chance.


After working 10 hr days for 3 days in a row I felt it was necessary to take a day off so I decided to take Monday off. That way I could have a full 3 days there. So on Friday I was all packed & ready to go & I swear Friday felt like the longest day ever. Another co-worker was heading there as well & we were counting the hours away. She said, "Oh I'm going to Ocean Bay, is that where you're going?" I said no & exclaimed I had done the Bay & now it was definitely time for me to be with the gays in The Pines. By the time 5:30 came around I bolted from the door & met up with Mickey (whom I would be sharing a room with). Then it was off to the train at Penn. We decided to get a drink to start the weekend off right. Which is what the rest of the weekend seemed to hold for us. Wow, those boys do it up right. I will need to detox for days & days. There was party after party. Once we were there Friday night & rocked the hot tub & had drinks it was off to an underwear party. Now I haven't done one of these in years & years, so I felt hey, why the hell not? Tons of fun was had & I even managed to get Mickey to do it as well. I should reiterate that you can do anything once I set my mind to it. On Saturday we apparently missed the monsoon that hit the city because we had sun & lovely weather. We managed to get to the beach & hang for a lil bit before it was time for another party. It's funny to me on how I go away & still wind up seeing tons of people I know. Also, meeting tons of new people is always nice. There's somehow not that since of pretentiousness that you can get at certain places in the city. Not sure what it is, the sun, the drinks or the camaraderie but people are so much more approachable & more friendly. I even met some boys that were from North Carolina & knew all about Carowinds. What was hilarious was that on the train ride there I was just telling Mickey about it & he said, "What the hell is that? Rehab in NC? That's what it sounds like." Another funny moment was when this guy was (I guess) hitting on me & just kept trying to figure out ways he knew me & I was not picking up what he was putting down. Later Mickey goes, "When someone asks you if you went to Cornell, you say YES."


Everyone was also trying to explain to me about the difference between Low Tea, High Tea, Middle Tea. Basically I still may not know which one I'm at but to put it in simpler terms....it's just another party & the Dj playing good music. One of the housemates was Dj David Marc playing tons of festiveness. I was in heaven. I even reconnected with people I haven't seen in years & years. I also connected with people I surely hope to see again & again. There was no drama, no arguments, no feeling uncomfortable about ANYthing, just fun. It's probably why I was able to not give a damn that the weather turned bad by Saturday night. Me running in the rain with gay guido boys trying to not get their spiky hair wet was a lovely moment. Sunday was cloudy & pretty much Monday as well. That seems to be the one thing that is a constant with me whenever I go there. But seriously when you're with the right group of people, all of that can be thrown into the wind. I had probably the best time out there I have ever had & it's nice to know a stigma on something can finally be wiped clean. I will have fun stories to talk about for quite some time. I also have tons of quotes from the weekend but I'll not chat about them here in order to keep this PG rated. Let's just say I'll hold them in my body of evidence.