A Hard Candy Christmas

Hey, maybe I’ll dye my hair
Maybe I’ll move somewhere
Maybe I’ll get a car
Maybe I’ll drive so far
They’ll all lose track
Me, I’ll bounce right back

Maybe I’ll sleep real late
Maybe I’ll lose some weight
Maybe I’ll clear my junk
Maybe I’ll just get drunk on apple wine
Me, I’ll be just

Fine and Dandy
Lord it’s like a hard candy christmas
I’m barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won’t let
Sorrow bring me way down



Hello everyone! It’s that time again. I swear it seems once Halloween gets here then Thanksgiving is 5 minutes after. Then, just as your starting to digest your food….. Christmas comes to slap you in the face. For some years now I’ve not thought of Christmas as the happiest of times due to family stuff but over time I’ve gotten better. I had actually planned to try to write something yesterday but I’m glad I didn’t. I was in a uhh let’s just say fowl mood. Unfortunately for me I’m not able to mask very well if something is wrong with me. All through the day friends at work were like, “Are you ok? You seem down.” With a quick, exasperated smile I would say no & that I was just tired. Then I get to the gym & see other people I know. ”Nick…. you seem a little…..” Even before the sentence was out I would quickly exclaim all was well & that I was just trying to get my workout done. I swear, sometimes having an expressive face is an annoyance. But, like most things with me…. I refuse to be down about anything for too long. Just like Dolly Parton in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas I’ll be fine & dandy. I always liked the words to that song. Recently, I did just die my hair. Although given my current state maybe I should have went dark & brooding. I don’t plan on moving anywhere (yet). I don’t like cars so I don’t plan on getting one (unless I would per se move). If any one loses track… well how did that happen when I’m on every social network known to man it seems? I’m not really a texter so if you want to talk to me that’s what you’re gonna have to do…. talk… to… me.

Today is my last day of work because my agency is closed until January 5th, which is incredibly nice. I’m looking forward to sleeping in, staying in the gym longer, cleaning out the junk & I’m sure I’ll imbibe on something festive over the holidays. They say the holidays are some of the most drunken times. Last year I didn’t play apart of that since I could not drink. But it seems this year I’ve somehow tried to make up for it. Which has me thinking that it’s time to calm myself down. The last few weeks have gotten a bit out of control & next thing you know there are drunk & scandalous pics of me being tagged on facebook. Dammit, where is my publicist when I need her to make sure these things don’t happen? This is why I always say take pics at the beginning of the night & then when things get out of control hide the damn camera!



Hey, maybe I’ll learn to sew
Maybe I’ll just lie low
Maybe I’ll hit the bars
Maybe I’ll count the stars until dawn
Me, I will go on

Maybe I’ll settle down
Maybe I’ll just leave town
Maybe I’ll have some fun
Maybe I’ll meet someone
And make him mine
Me, I’ll be just

Fine and dandy
Lord it’s like a hard candy christmas
I’m barely getting throung tomorrow
But still I won’t let sorrow bring me way down



Hmmm learning to sew may not be my thing but it would certainly be helpful. Lying low is easy. I love my me, myself & I time. Hitting the bars? I think I covered that in the last paragraph. Counting the stars is not something I have done in NYC ever. I don’t think I have ever properly paid attention to it. Settling down & making someone mine was done before, it didn’t work out so well. Not to say I do not discount it. I marched proudly twice for the rights to gay marriage. Equal rights ARE equal rights. Last night I was chatting with a friend who was mentioning he may want to marry his bf & I said well you can count on me to be your best man. Like anything, it has its ups & downs. I think about this time last year & how it was right before another big change was about to go down. Somehow over the year I’ve celebrated and grieved it’s loss more then I would like to admit. A sigh as the writer takes a minute to think.

This Christmas I have once again decided to stay in NYC for the holidays. I haven’t been to NC for Xmas in yrs. It hasn’t felt the same since my grandmother died so I like to celebrate Xmas my own way, with friends who have decided to stay here as well. I’ve also decided to go down to NC when it’s a lil bit warmer & I can escape the cold here (since I’m sure it will be cold here for many months to come). I don’t really have any New Years Eve plans yet. I have done the megaclub, I have done the stay at home, I have done the house party. I think that’s what I prefer at this point. I’ll keep you updated but that is next week. As for this one, Santa Claus is coming to town even though the economy sucks. As long as he brings my friends & some music & a lil bit of booze….. I’ll be fine and dandy.