The Decade of Decadence Chapter 1: School Of Life

Last week was my 10 yr anniversary of living in NYC & it had me thinking back about all the time I have spent here. It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. The longest gap in time I’ve had for a few yrs in fact. It seems that life is beginning to once again change for me & I’ve been so busy that I’ve not really had the time to sit down properly & get it all down. So I figured before I start discussing the future how about I look back on the past.

It was 1999 & right at the stroke of midnight I was running down the cobblestone streets of downtown Wilmington, NC. Shuley & some friends were waiting for me to get to the club to ring in the new year & a new decade. They say that whatever you’re doing at the time of the new year you’ll be doing it all year. Mine couldn’t have turned out to be more true because just a month or so later I decided to move to NY. I ran into an old friend from high school very randomly & he mentioned wanting to move to either LA or NY. Ever since I was able to form the sentence I’m moving from this town I had started to plot my move far, far away. Our discussion went from let’s move in a few months to when is your lease up & with that we decided to move in March. Just so happened to also be the bday of my wonderful Shuley. It wasn’t easy for her & it definitely wasn’t easy moving here. Money was borrowed, lies were apparently told by real estate agents, van was packed & next thing you know we were saying goodbye to friends & family for the big apple.

My first apartment was a one bedroom apt in Roosevelt Island. The building was awesome & looking back I still find it strange how we got this apt. I blame it on 2 young guys from NC not really sure of what they were getting into. It took forever to find a job for both of us as we both pounded the pavement all over. My poor feet were not ready for all the walking. By the end of the month my friend told me he wanted to go back. We couldn’t afford our rent & had a lease that we didn’t know how we were gonna get out of. The buildings management found this odd since our forms showed we made an incredible amount of money in our own internet startup company. That’s right, the agents submitted phony forms. On my own I embarked on finding a way out of the mess I was in & in the meantime I got another friend from NC to fill in as my roommate. Ahhhhh what a mess that person became when he tried to use my card to get money for coke from some random guy in Central Park. A fight ensued & I was out for blood, cops were called & he was taken away as some random trick he had brought home from Splash sat there squealing in fear. All of this took place w/in the first few months of living here. I was so bummed about my friend backing out when the going got tough & was incredibly stressed that it was all on me. I had been on my own since I was 18 but this was the first time I really felt independent. While working at HMV (one of the major music stores at the time) I would also take time to audition & dance at a few clubs trying to make a little more money. One of the things I ended up being on was some atrocious show on VH1 How To Make A Boy Band. (Thank God there is no clip on youtube) There would be days where I just didn’t eat bc well I couldn’t afford to. I was sure as hell not gonna tell any one from NC about this because I didn’t want to hear an ‘I told you so, now come home’. Luckily I had me a Shuley’s Care Package from time to time. Just thinking of it makes me miss Boo Berry Cereal. One of my co-workers at HMV heard about my struggles & told me he was working on being able to get roommates once something went through with his landlord. It seemed promising but as another month went by I didn’t see it working out. I had found a couple with a newborn that could take over my lease & I would have to move by the end of June. As the time came close I feared for the worst. I had experienced my first Pride here in NYC & the city seemed alive with possibilities. Only none for me. I went into work fully prepared to give my notice when Oz, my co-worker came rushing in telling me I could move in. Like so many things in my life it had to be dramatic & right at the last minute. My rent would be dramatically cheaper & I would be living in an area called Hell’s Kitchen on West 47th st.

I moved in at the end of June & I can’t even remember how I got all my stuff over there. It was a scorcher of a night & I was sitting in the living room with one of my 2 new roommates. The window was open bc of the heat & we had no AC. Out of nowhere I heard a shot. Apparently a woman decided to shoot her husband & they lived right across the street. Top that off with my new roommate telling me he was an escort I was like ‘What the hell have I gotten myself into now’? Oz, this new roommate who was the same age as my mom, & I fought on so many things. He had lived with his mother his whole life & hadn’t ever experienced what it was like living with other people. I had never experienced what it was like to live with the great & wonderful wizard of Oz himself. I thought this will last a few more months & I’ll need to get the fuck up out of here. Meanwhile, I got a job at New York Sports Club as a front desk person which at first made me uneasy. I wasn’t the work out, get muscled type. I had been to Roxy once & I felt so intimidated by the big, shirtless muscle guys dancing to boom boom music. I also took my first NY dance class. I had danced since I was a kid. I won dance contests, was always told I was the best dancer…. I was hot shit. Boy oh boy was I in for a surprise. I couldn’t keep up, I was about 4 counts behind & my endurance was crap. Instead of giving up, I trudged on.

I got a part dancing in a club scene in what would become the bomb Glitter. To this day I still don’t think that movie was THAT bad. Then again we all know I’m partial to Mariah & when I got to see her I was all nervous & couldn’t speak. Either way it was a fun experience. I was in Limelight dancing up a storm with my new friend Krizia. I had made quite a few new friends through the gym & I ended up crossing over from front desk to sales. Home life with Oz was still insane but I was really beginning to love the life of an NYC boy. Even though I still clearly sounded like a country boy. I would go out & people would just say, “I just wanna hear you tawwk” in a terrible NY tries Southern accent. When Christmas came around it was my first visit back to NC to see the family & friends. All of a sudden all the turmoil I had went through to get to NY & stay in NY seemed incredibly worth it. I was happy to see everyone & we took tons of pics of the family all together. It was to be one of the last times we would all be like that again.

Mid January of 01 was when I met some of the people who would become some of my best friends. My friend from work, Kevin, introduced me to some guys he knew…. Ej & Larry. We met at one of the places that would become our hangout every Tuesday night for months & months after. Pieces, a karaoke bar was the place where we could get our dance & sing on. This was also around the time I would learn about a lil party called Pop Rocks. Krizia & I would go all dressed up & jam out to Britney, ‘Nsync, Xtina, Madonna, anything pop basically. This was when I would meet my first real boyfriend in NY, Jason. It was a fun time for sure. Looking back at pictures I’m reminded of the beginnings of open bars, vodka drinks, late nights, glitter & having some of the best times with new friends & really finding my own niche in this wonderful city that is NYC. I got to see my first Madonna concert at MSG & even though the show was not as good as the ones she’s done since it holds a nice place in my heart bc it was my first. There was a tad of drama when one day on the way to work I was hit by a mini-van. I had been so excited to get away form driving. I had not had the best of luck in that department in NC. Luckily I was ok in the end, but as I went flying through the air the same could not have been said for a homeless man’s house. I remember being put in the ambulance & thinking damn I’m not gonna be able to go out tonight to Pop Rocks. Low & behold I went out with a semi busted up face & we called it a celebration of life night. Thinking of that I can not help but LOL because had that happened now I would be sitting my ass at home.

When that had happened I had been on my way to a new job that I had gotten. On top of my NYSC sales job I got a job at a dance school for children. Ballet Tech, Elliot Feld’s school of dance. I had never taken ballet class while in NC. I had gotten enough grief from kids in school for doing acrobatics & theater & the other dance. I basically was helping with the kids that they taught, ages 5 and up. Those kids gave me plenty of stories throughout the time I was there. Those of you who know reading this, all I need to say is ‘Special White Kids’ & it should make you laugh. A small school but an eye opening experience. We would audition children for the school & I would at times be the instructor. I remember the first time I met one of the instructor’s it was my first lesson in how different ballet is from other dance. She looked at me & said “You have bad feet & you don’t have a dancer’s body.” To this day I still suck at that style & I’m always a little jealous of the people who can triple turn & make it look so effortless. I had continued taking my other classes as well & became a much better dancer in my normal style. I would take a girl name Sheryl’s class. She would later go on to be in Gaga’s Just Dance video & she choreographed Beyonce’s Ego video just to name a few things. It was in these classes I met certain other people who went on to have a little bit of fame. I’ll not say names bc they’re kind of dicks now. But that’s the way it goes in anything I suppose.

The summer came & summer boys came & gone as well. Jason & I had broken up & had decided we were much better off as friends & he was returning to school down south anyway. I was single & ready to mingle & on Labor Day weekend I went out with Krizia & John to Webster Hall. it was here that I met 2 people who would become major players in my life for years & years to come. I was dancing on a box when I first saw Tim. Handsome & older but I couldn’t tell if he was straight or gay. He had the dancing ability of a very non-coordinated straight guy. Krizia went up to him & then introduced us & needless to say he was gay. I was smitten but in those days I was very innocent. I didn’t go home with people I just met & preferred going on a date first. He was ok with that & then introduced me to his friend Jaime. Jaime was a crazy bitch if there ever was one. Loca in la cabeza for sure. He was wearing a Princess t-shirt that was size small & was getting his dance on. We all hung out before I left to go home & I made plans with Tim for an actual date. A few days later, Tuesday September 11th I got a phone call from my friend Russell who was frantic. ”I just wanted to make sure you’re not at the World Trade Center.” Barely wiping the sleep from my eyes I asked, “Why?” He said turn on the tv.

From time to time we would have sales meetings down there & that month it was gonna be held somewhere else. I had friends that worked down there & they barely made it out with their lives. I remember the time so vividly. My family was frantic & trying to get through but all phone lines were jammed. The city had a smell that was just beyond describable. It was the only time I ever considered really moving. I was that scared. There was a unity though throughout New Yorkers. All of a sudden the place that was known to have nasty attitudes & nasty people became nothing but love. Within a few days I decided I couldn’t leave. New York was my home. To this day though I find it hard to go down to that site. I may have been 3 times since. Then again I tend to stay in my little areas. But we’ll get to that jaded NYer story later.

During that next year I learned all about love & what it was to actually think of someone other than yourself. While I had dated & a few boyfriends I fell absolutely head over fricking heels in love with Tim. 10 years older than me but this was his original problem with me. We would go on to be friends one minute & then lovers the next. My famous New Years Eve party of 01 was spent me getting my heart broken. A theme that would seem to go throughout the whole year. I guess ‘they’ really aren’t fucking kidding about that saying what you do at midnight you’ll do the rest of the year. This heartache went on to make some pretty good songs if I don’t say so myself. I continued my job at NYSC, Ballet Tech with some various jobs throughout dancing in a few clubs. I was also performing doing some of my own songs at a Cabaret bar. By doing that I had also met some people who produced demo’s & needed vocalists or writers for their music. I found myself going out to Staten Island of all places for one producer. Of all those tracks that I did I think I liked actually one of them. Mind you if I read about him getting famous I would hunt him down in a hot second.

I was still taking plenty of time to go out with friends on the weekend & these days I wasn’t so intimidated by the muscle boys of Roxy the way I was a few years back. I still had been anti drug anything & all my friends were amazed by the way I could dance & dance for hours & not be chemically enhanced. I saw the way they were & it would make me giggle. I saw the way it was like a hunt for good ecstasy at the club. I remember one night being with Chad & Shane & so many of my other friends. I was in good company & I was safe. I remember thinking, “Hell, why not?” I looked at my friend & said, “Gimme a hit of E.” He said, “What? Are you serious?” ”Sure, why the hell not?”

TO BE CONTINUED