It’s fall here in the city & there is more than a hint of chill in the air. The chill has found it’s way to my bedroom as well. It’s hard to believe that summer was just a few weeks ago. The summer was full of delicious scandals which by now I can’t even remember why it was so delicious. It’s like it was a blockbuster for one weekend & then was not talked about by the next because there was a new hotness to discuss. There were tons of new friends made & I was just sure that they would make the fall season premiere episode. But, just like ‘Tori’ on Saved By the Bell they were quickly nixed & more attention was paid to the core cast. (Even if some members HAD dropped off the face of the earth) What has somehow been consistent & a story line that has spilled over from summer would be what is my love life.
Boys boys boys
We like boys in cars
Boys boys boys
Buy us drinks in bars
Boys boys boys
With Hairspray and denim
Boys boys boys
We love them!
Now some of you may some may scoff & roll your eyes & say this topic is no different than any other season in your life Nick. Boys in the morning, boys in the evening & boys at suppertime. You have boys to warm you up in the winter, boys that try to give you golden showers in the spring (to that I say ewww never!) and boys that you trip over trying to get to the next one in the fall. To this I say, “Whatevs bitches, you don’t know me!” What I am confused about is this trend that started shortly before my bday. Somehow everyone I have met that I have been interested in has had a boyfriend. In the beginning I didn’t mind at all. I think I welcomed it actually. It was a perfect example of let me get mine, you get yours so you can get the fuck out.
Looking for some education
Made my way into the night
All that bullshit conversation
Well baby can’t you read the signs?
I won’t bore you with the details baby
I don’t even want to waste your time
Let’s just say that maybe
You could help to ease my mind
Baby, I ain’t Mr. Right
But if you’re looking for fastlove
If that’s love in your eyes
It’s more than enough
Had some had bad luck
So fastlove is all that I’ve got on my mind
I’m not the only one with this opinion. In a city where the next brand new hotness is just down the street it’s so easy to not get caught up over someone. Especially if you have already done the relationship thing & it hasn’t worked out. I was talking to a friend the other day & asked how his date went. Virtually shrugging he said, “Eh, it was ok but I don’t need to take it any further.” And it is kind of true. You can see where something is going pretty early on & if it isn’t going anywhere then there is no need to string something(one) on. I probably sound jaded. Most of my friends probably sound the same way. I know it’s a far cry from my desperate to be in love state in my mid twenties. I’m just trying to explain how I didn’t mind meeting the hot guys with bfs…. at first.
Hey there sugar baby
Saw you twice at the pop show
You take just like glitter
Mixed with rock and roll
I like you a lot lot
Think you’re really hot hot
I’m not loose, I like to party
Let’s get lost in your Ferrari
Not psychotic or dramatic
I like boys and that is that
Love it when you call me legs
In the morning buy me eggs
Watch your heart when we’re together
Boys like you love me forever
Boy after boy & especially around my bday I was meeting guys that either had bfs or were semi-attached. There was one occasion I think I was used to make someone jealous. Which is something I’m not shocked about. What did shock me was somehow I was attracting these guys one after one. 7 guys later I have to say I’m annoyed. A few weeks ago I was talking about this matter with some friends having pre-drinks at my apt before we went out. Then, we go out & a really hot guy started to kick his game with me. After investing a whole 15 minutes in him (it may have been longer), I thought to ask him a question. ”Do you have a boyfriend?” He stopped and goes, ‘If I did, would that be a problem?” I rolled my eyes & said politely for him to get the fuck away from me. Ok, so it wasn’t polite & I probably looked like I was bucking for best dramatic actor at a gay club opening. But people, seriously the count is at 8! Meanwhile, my dating life over the past year & a half has been almost a blank slate. It’s a sad thing when you realize that you’ve had more ‘dates’ with an ex than you have actually had with other people.
In the absence of security
I made my way into the night
Stupid cupid keeps on calling me
But I see nothing in his eyes
I miss my baby, oh yeah
I miss my baby tonight
So why don’t we make a little room
In my BMW babe
Searching for some peace of mind
Hey I’ll help you find it
I do believe that we are practicing
The same religion
You really ought to get up now
It’s funny that recently I have totally missed those feelings of having someone there to count on other than myself. Those feelings like I wasn’t alone & had someone that actually loved me. I got the news that I would go back on medication to stop the seizures from happening again. Which I’m ok with. But, I was told that there is still basically a tumor left in my brain. They had gotten the majority of it but could not get the smallest bit of it so basically they have to monitor it & make sure it doesn’t grow. If it does, then I would have to go through radiation therapy or have surgery again. So please picture my face when I got this news. I feel like all of this should’ve been told to me properly a long time ago but somehow it wasn’t. But to avoid sounding like an angry crazy person about to go on a Kanye rant, I look at it like this: I’ve been fine since the tumor was removed (most of it) & I had one little set back. I will not let it get me down & just keep doing what I do. I can’t worry about what the future does or does not hold. I’ll end up missing the present. I’ll keep looking for affirmation. Hopefully this also means that the ones with bf’s will not be looking for me. I may not be looking for Mr. Right but somehow I need something a little more than Mr. Right Now.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Divas Live
Last night I was able to attend Divas Live at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. I had scored some casted seats & I brought my friend Chase as my guest. For years I have been hoping they would bring back the show. I had always watched it since the first one in 98. I have so many favorite moments from the years:
Mariah running around with big hair Making It Happen, singing Chain Of Fools with Aretha, Aretha looking like she may just eat every diva on the stage as an appetizer, Carole King just singing for all she’s worth even though you can’t hear a peep out of her mouth, Celine beating herself in the chest because she is the greatest singer in the world, Shania rocking some really hot pants
Cher, Tina & Elton bringing the house down, Tina & Elton having their own semi bitch fight while bringing the bitch back, Whitney sweating like she had done rails of coke for days (oh wait she probably had)
Mariah opening the 2000 show with Heartbreaker/Love Hangover, her whole Supreme’s number with Diana Ross (broken dress straps & all), Destiny’s Child when they were undergoing their whole line up change
Wait! With the way I’m talking you would think I am only eating up the drama of it all. Ok don’t we all? But what it really is all about is the singing. So when I found out who I was gonna get to see I was very excited. I have followed Leona Lewis since she started on X-Factor (thank goodness for you tube). I was loving some Bleeding Love MONTHS before she had even released it here. I actually like her version of A Moment Like This better than Kelly’s. I’ve been a fan of Kelly since the beginning of Idol. The whole Breakaway album was amazing. One of my favorite songs by her has to be Sober because that came to be my anthem for 6 months after the whole tumor situation. Chasing Pavements was my theme song as well when I was trying to look for an apt in the first few months of 08. Adele’s album is absolutely brilliant & I hope the follow up is just as wonderful. Jordin Sparks is a wonderful talent in her own right as well. Her new single is quite infectious as well. The gays LOVE some Jennifer Hudson! When I saw Dreamgirls the night it opened in the Ziegfield theater it was like watching a Broadway show. People clapping & cheering & standing o’s at the end. Then there was Miley Cyrus. Wait, hold up, what? Is someone pulling my leg? I always wanted to get to 6 foot but just missed it unless I’m wearing my big boy shoes. It was like that classic phrase ‘One of these things is NOT like the other’.
So when Chase & I got there everything was a little disorganized & we were waiting around for seats for a while. Then someone asked us if we wanted to be down in the pit. Now mind you, my shoulders STILL hurt (yes 3 weeks later) & I wasn’t sure about standing the whole time. Also, Chase is about 8 feet tall so he didn’t think that would work out. BUT, we did it anyway & can I say it was totally worth it. We got to see everything up close & very personal. From Paula’s opening of dancing to old hits & lip-syncing her ass off to The Desperate Housewives going on & on while Chase was right behind them. The stage seemed quite small even though on tv it looks a little bigger. The set looked wonderful & the dancers were wonderful. We were able to see plenty of celebs. My fav had to be my man Ryan from True Blood. LOVE that Aussie accent! Our pit coordinator Kiki kept trying to get some of the people in the pit to be more crazy. At one point she told a bunch of kids that the need to fake it like how Meg Ryan faked it in ‘When Harry Met Sally’. I bursted out laughing when they all had blank faces. I looked at her & reminded her that they were not old enough to even know that movie. I have actually never even seen that movie but just knowing that made me feel old. I looked at one of the kids & asked who they were there for. A bubbly little blonde girl squealed ‘Miley!!!!’
Ok so I have to be honest I have liked some of her songs. See You Again, The Climb, Fly On the Wall & Party In The USA are really catchy. She annoys me but the kid is 16. I was probably just as annoying at that age. So imagine my surprise when she came out & performed. Her voice leaves a little to be desired BUT she sang everything live. Which seems to be a hard task for others. She mingled with the audience & I really liked her duet with Sheryl on If It Makes You Happy. How cheeky that she got to sing the line about ‘I still get stoned’. I’m sure parents & the blogs will comment about that. It kind of makes me like her more. Guess I’m gonna have to come out of the closet now. Yep, I like Miley Cyrus. I still think she’s got years to become a diva but to each his own.
Some gays on the other side of the pit went buh nan uzzz when Jennifer Hudson came out. She opened with Spotlight & I love that song. She looked great & fresh with a little baby weight. When she performed with Stevie I was semi bored because I didn’t know the song. Then, they started riffing & breaking it down & I began to hoot & holla! When she was done she was really humble & gave the gays her love.
Jordin Sparks got the crowd excited with her new single S.O.S. She was looking all glammed up & posing & strutting on the catwalk. She is definitely coming into her own. Her duet with Martina McBride was really beautiful as well & they both sounded wonderful.
Kelly Clarkson came out in a lovely green dress to do her newest single Already Gone. It sounded really nice. I loved the whole acoustic vibe of it. Much will be said about her weight. I saw her on the cover of Self magazine recently & once again I don’t know who that person. She must have eaten Kelly bc that girl on the cover was way slim. But whatevs, Kelly likes to eat & she is a good role model showing that you don’t have to be stick then & look like those bitches from the Hills. When they came out I was bored to tears. I can not stand those girls & they have no talent what so ever. So to Kelly, Rock ON! And that is exactly what she did when she closed the show with Melissa Etheridge, who I am a BIG fan of. Mmmhhmm that’s right, this gay can get his inner lesbian rock star on when he listens to her. So I was actually jumping up & down when they went into Bring Me Some Water. It was awesome & a perfect way to end the show.
Adele was the only one who came out & said hello to everyone before the beginning of the show. She really seems like a lovely girl & I was hoping that she would do Hometown Glory. It’s one of my favorites from the album & I’m so glad she did it. She sounded amazing & barely got the last note out because everyone was yelling so loud. Her duet with India Arie was awesome & I enjoyed it immensely.
I have to say Leona was my personal favorite because I simply love her voice. The new single is destined to repeat a #1 success, mark my words. She looked stunning & flawless & I especially liked the dancers for this number as well. It was very fitting. Her duet with Cyndi Lauper was awesome. This was the same arrangement that Cyndi did on Idol with that rocker chick & I loved being able to hear it live. Cyndi is timeless & she’s gonna be 90 yrs old still singing about some True Colors. But it’s all good because she’s bad ass like that.
I was hoping I would be able to take actual pictures throughout the show but alas, security wasn’t having it. So the only time I managed to snap away was the end when they were all standing together. At least I have it in my memory and it is on tv so I can watch over & over to see myself. I watched a little when I got home & you can see Chase throughout the whole thing. I had an awesome time & so glad that I got to go.
Mariah running around with big hair Making It Happen, singing Chain Of Fools with Aretha, Aretha looking like she may just eat every diva on the stage as an appetizer, Carole King just singing for all she’s worth even though you can’t hear a peep out of her mouth, Celine beating herself in the chest because she is the greatest singer in the world, Shania rocking some really hot pants
Cher, Tina & Elton bringing the house down, Tina & Elton having their own semi bitch fight while bringing the bitch back, Whitney sweating like she had done rails of coke for days (oh wait she probably had)
Mariah opening the 2000 show with Heartbreaker/Love Hangover, her whole Supreme’s number with Diana Ross (broken dress straps & all), Destiny’s Child when they were undergoing their whole line up change
Wait! With the way I’m talking you would think I am only eating up the drama of it all. Ok don’t we all? But what it really is all about is the singing. So when I found out who I was gonna get to see I was very excited. I have followed Leona Lewis since she started on X-Factor (thank goodness for you tube). I was loving some Bleeding Love MONTHS before she had even released it here. I actually like her version of A Moment Like This better than Kelly’s. I’ve been a fan of Kelly since the beginning of Idol. The whole Breakaway album was amazing. One of my favorite songs by her has to be Sober because that came to be my anthem for 6 months after the whole tumor situation. Chasing Pavements was my theme song as well when I was trying to look for an apt in the first few months of 08. Adele’s album is absolutely brilliant & I hope the follow up is just as wonderful. Jordin Sparks is a wonderful talent in her own right as well. Her new single is quite infectious as well. The gays LOVE some Jennifer Hudson! When I saw Dreamgirls the night it opened in the Ziegfield theater it was like watching a Broadway show. People clapping & cheering & standing o’s at the end. Then there was Miley Cyrus. Wait, hold up, what? Is someone pulling my leg? I always wanted to get to 6 foot but just missed it unless I’m wearing my big boy shoes. It was like that classic phrase ‘One of these things is NOT like the other’.
So when Chase & I got there everything was a little disorganized & we were waiting around for seats for a while. Then someone asked us if we wanted to be down in the pit. Now mind you, my shoulders STILL hurt (yes 3 weeks later) & I wasn’t sure about standing the whole time. Also, Chase is about 8 feet tall so he didn’t think that would work out. BUT, we did it anyway & can I say it was totally worth it. We got to see everything up close & very personal. From Paula’s opening of dancing to old hits & lip-syncing her ass off to The Desperate Housewives going on & on while Chase was right behind them. The stage seemed quite small even though on tv it looks a little bigger. The set looked wonderful & the dancers were wonderful. We were able to see plenty of celebs. My fav had to be my man Ryan from True Blood. LOVE that Aussie accent! Our pit coordinator Kiki kept trying to get some of the people in the pit to be more crazy. At one point she told a bunch of kids that the need to fake it like how Meg Ryan faked it in ‘When Harry Met Sally’. I bursted out laughing when they all had blank faces. I looked at her & reminded her that they were not old enough to even know that movie. I have actually never even seen that movie but just knowing that made me feel old. I looked at one of the kids & asked who they were there for. A bubbly little blonde girl squealed ‘Miley!!!!’
Ok so I have to be honest I have liked some of her songs. See You Again, The Climb, Fly On the Wall & Party In The USA are really catchy. She annoys me but the kid is 16. I was probably just as annoying at that age. So imagine my surprise when she came out & performed. Her voice leaves a little to be desired BUT she sang everything live. Which seems to be a hard task for others. She mingled with the audience & I really liked her duet with Sheryl on If It Makes You Happy. How cheeky that she got to sing the line about ‘I still get stoned’. I’m sure parents & the blogs will comment about that. It kind of makes me like her more. Guess I’m gonna have to come out of the closet now. Yep, I like Miley Cyrus. I still think she’s got years to become a diva but to each his own.
Some gays on the other side of the pit went buh nan uzzz when Jennifer Hudson came out. She opened with Spotlight & I love that song. She looked great & fresh with a little baby weight. When she performed with Stevie I was semi bored because I didn’t know the song. Then, they started riffing & breaking it down & I began to hoot & holla! When she was done she was really humble & gave the gays her love.
Jordin Sparks got the crowd excited with her new single S.O.S. She was looking all glammed up & posing & strutting on the catwalk. She is definitely coming into her own. Her duet with Martina McBride was really beautiful as well & they both sounded wonderful.
Kelly Clarkson came out in a lovely green dress to do her newest single Already Gone. It sounded really nice. I loved the whole acoustic vibe of it. Much will be said about her weight. I saw her on the cover of Self magazine recently & once again I don’t know who that person. She must have eaten Kelly bc that girl on the cover was way slim. But whatevs, Kelly likes to eat & she is a good role model showing that you don’t have to be stick then & look like those bitches from the Hills. When they came out I was bored to tears. I can not stand those girls & they have no talent what so ever. So to Kelly, Rock ON! And that is exactly what she did when she closed the show with Melissa Etheridge, who I am a BIG fan of. Mmmhhmm that’s right, this gay can get his inner lesbian rock star on when he listens to her. So I was actually jumping up & down when they went into Bring Me Some Water. It was awesome & a perfect way to end the show.
Adele was the only one who came out & said hello to everyone before the beginning of the show. She really seems like a lovely girl & I was hoping that she would do Hometown Glory. It’s one of my favorites from the album & I’m so glad she did it. She sounded amazing & barely got the last note out because everyone was yelling so loud. Her duet with India Arie was awesome & I enjoyed it immensely.
I have to say Leona was my personal favorite because I simply love her voice. The new single is destined to repeat a #1 success, mark my words. She looked stunning & flawless & I especially liked the dancers for this number as well. It was very fitting. Her duet with Cyndi Lauper was awesome. This was the same arrangement that Cyndi did on Idol with that rocker chick & I loved being able to hear it live. Cyndi is timeless & she’s gonna be 90 yrs old still singing about some True Colors. But it’s all good because she’s bad ass like that.
I was hoping I would be able to take actual pictures throughout the show but alas, security wasn’t having it. So the only time I managed to snap away was the end when they were all standing together. At least I have it in my memory and it is on tv so I can watch over & over to see myself. I watched a little when I got home & you can see Chase throughout the whole thing. I had an awesome time & so glad that I got to go.
Monday, September 14, 2009
VMA's 09
I haven’t been excited for the VMA’s in a long ass time. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older or because they don’t show videos really anymore but MTV to me hasn’t had me on the edge of my seat in quite some time. But this year, it had me bursting with fruit flavor as if I was one of those kids that needs a haircut. You know, the hairdo that has taken over for young men in their teens & early twenty’s. If I tried to grow out my shit I would just look like I’m trying to be on Divas Live.
But look at me, getting away from the topic at hand and trying to make it all about me. What a douchey thing to do right? So lets discuss this years VMA’s. When the show opened and showed a woman that seemed recognizable I was like who is this? Then I realized it was my queen M and her new face. I thought her speech was great about Mike but for a hot second I thought that she was going to introduce Janet. Which to me would have been major drama considering they do not get along. Needless to say it didn’t happen but when the tribute happened I thought it was some awesome dancing & I only wished I could be up there moving & shaking with all of them. Everyone was on point, even thought the one dancer during the Smooth Criminal segment looked like he may fall over at any given moment. But props to him I have never been able to do that lean & have always wondered how Mike did it. Then the beginning of Scream & I began to squeal with delight. No Janet didn’t sing it live but those were redone vocals. When it came time for the breakdown I couldn’t help but get a little sad because I remember Michael commenting back in the day that he loved getting in a room & dancing with his sister. And even though he wasn’t there…. in a strange way it was like he was. A very touching tribute indeed. I gotta add seeing Tina dancing along side Janet was awesome, as well as J Lo’s ex Cris Judd.
Russell Brand makes me giggle & I think he’s a good host. No need to apologize about past comments about Bush & purity rings. I can’t help but think those purity rings are just another name for cock rings. Then again, I am a dirty bitch. Luckily it was time for all my ladies to do some battle. Best female video. It was either gonna be my girl Beyonce or my crazy bitch that I live for GaGa. Then outta nowhere Taylor Swift! What?! I was shocked. I have her cd & I like her songs but I was just sure it was gonna be B or GaGa. Clearly I wasn’t the only one. EVERYone is talking about the antics of Kanye & I hate to jump on the bandwagon but that motherf*cker continues to annoy the shit out of him. I like some of his music but I swear he is forever saying some shit or bawling over not winning an award. This one wasn’t even his to win. He wasn’t even featured in any of the songs. WTF Kanye? You’re a grown ass man, older than me mind you ; ) and you have to take the mic away from a sweet 19 year old southern girl? Taylor reminds me of every girl I went to high school with or knew back in the south. She’s quite simply put, a girl’s girl. All the girls would want to be her friend & all the boys would follow her around. She never says anything bad about anybody & in his moment of stealing hers I found myself saying, “Fuck him, you deserve that win. You have the best selling album of 2009 so far.” Then like 10 minutes later she was going to perform. I wondered how she would handle it. For most teens it may have posed as too much. But she got up there (or should I say down there) and did her thing. I was like how did they get no one to crowd 6th Ave at 42nd? It made me wanna dance & sing & act a fool on the F. I used to take that train everyday for work. Too bad it wasn’t that festive all the time.
When it was time for Gaga I was on the edge of my seat. The set was amazing & it looked like something straight out of the theater. I love the song & her dancers were balletic & on point. I saw quite a few dancers I recognized from So You Think You Dance. The piano playing was nice & then came the ‘blood’. I live for her Pop Art but this whole look of I just started my period on stage left me a little queezy. I found myself saying out loud, “Do you ever get that not so fresh feeling?” Her costumes throughout the night continued to be insane & that whole froc at the end when she won best new artist left me scratching my head. But I lived for your props to the gays & I find myself jealous of Perez for being your gay bf when I’ve been a fan way longer than he has. Gaga, I’m your biggest fan… I’ll follow you until you love me. Even if it’s some messy bloody coochie-azzi. (Ummm just saying that I feel I need a bath)
Pink is the baddest lesbian straight chick out there. I love her & I always have. Massive props to that whole acrobatic but still singing live performance of Sober. I have a slight fear of heights & all I could think of if that was me I would have dislocated my shoulder right then & there. I’m going to be seeing her live next month so I can’t wait to see her for that for her show. It’s sure to be awesome.
People seem to either hate or love Beyonce but I’ve been a fan since she busted out with some No, No, No back in 98 with Destiny’s Child. And I HAVE to say B killed it during her performance. I liked the whole singing live bit for the beginning and then breaking that shit down. Recently my friend Kareem was telling me about how hard it is to do the choreography to that song AND sing live. Mind you this was just for karaoke at a bar so just imagine how that’s upgraded for the VMA’s. Clearly B felt the same way because once she started dancing those backing vocals kicked in. Later, B took off the Sasha Fierce cap & replaced it with her Halo by giving Taylor her due. Clearly, B IS A CLASS ACT & Kanye needs to check his huge Ego & learn something from this wonderful lady.
I didn’t really care about the other performers. Yes, Green Day is cool but I don’t live for em. That other band, The Muse…..ok. I took a pee break. The whole Twilight phenom is lost on me. I was bored to tears during that movie. I prefer my vampires on True Blood. But when that chick asked what team you were on I felt really dirty for saying I am on Team Taylor since that kid is like 16 with the body of a man. Eminem’s new face scares me & I’ve been over him & all his hype for quite some time. I was excited to see Brit win. I hope she celebrated with some cheetos & a frappachino & some sexy times. I was bored during Jay-Z’s performance & kept saying, “Pull up your pants!” Alicia did a nice job & looked gorgeous. Then all of a sudden I saw a little midget tranny run upstage to literally try to do a gangster pose. Oh wait, that’s just Lil’ Mama. Ummm Lil’ Tranny, your lip gloss ain’t popping no mo. So sit your ass down.
There it is, my 2 cents worth. Big ups to all the ladies. Showing that you don’t have to be divas all the time & let everyone have their moments. Now I need to get back to work. I’m gonna be attending the Divas Live concert this Thurs so you can best believe I’ll be giving my 5 cents worth on Friday. Have a great week everyone!
But look at me, getting away from the topic at hand and trying to make it all about me. What a douchey thing to do right? So lets discuss this years VMA’s. When the show opened and showed a woman that seemed recognizable I was like who is this? Then I realized it was my queen M and her new face. I thought her speech was great about Mike but for a hot second I thought that she was going to introduce Janet. Which to me would have been major drama considering they do not get along. Needless to say it didn’t happen but when the tribute happened I thought it was some awesome dancing & I only wished I could be up there moving & shaking with all of them. Everyone was on point, even thought the one dancer during the Smooth Criminal segment looked like he may fall over at any given moment. But props to him I have never been able to do that lean & have always wondered how Mike did it. Then the beginning of Scream & I began to squeal with delight. No Janet didn’t sing it live but those were redone vocals. When it came time for the breakdown I couldn’t help but get a little sad because I remember Michael commenting back in the day that he loved getting in a room & dancing with his sister. And even though he wasn’t there…. in a strange way it was like he was. A very touching tribute indeed. I gotta add seeing Tina dancing along side Janet was awesome, as well as J Lo’s ex Cris Judd.
Russell Brand makes me giggle & I think he’s a good host. No need to apologize about past comments about Bush & purity rings. I can’t help but think those purity rings are just another name for cock rings. Then again, I am a dirty bitch. Luckily it was time for all my ladies to do some battle. Best female video. It was either gonna be my girl Beyonce or my crazy bitch that I live for GaGa. Then outta nowhere Taylor Swift! What?! I was shocked. I have her cd & I like her songs but I was just sure it was gonna be B or GaGa. Clearly I wasn’t the only one. EVERYone is talking about the antics of Kanye & I hate to jump on the bandwagon but that motherf*cker continues to annoy the shit out of him. I like some of his music but I swear he is forever saying some shit or bawling over not winning an award. This one wasn’t even his to win. He wasn’t even featured in any of the songs. WTF Kanye? You’re a grown ass man, older than me mind you ; ) and you have to take the mic away from a sweet 19 year old southern girl? Taylor reminds me of every girl I went to high school with or knew back in the south. She’s quite simply put, a girl’s girl. All the girls would want to be her friend & all the boys would follow her around. She never says anything bad about anybody & in his moment of stealing hers I found myself saying, “Fuck him, you deserve that win. You have the best selling album of 2009 so far.” Then like 10 minutes later she was going to perform. I wondered how she would handle it. For most teens it may have posed as too much. But she got up there (or should I say down there) and did her thing. I was like how did they get no one to crowd 6th Ave at 42nd? It made me wanna dance & sing & act a fool on the F. I used to take that train everyday for work. Too bad it wasn’t that festive all the time.
When it was time for Gaga I was on the edge of my seat. The set was amazing & it looked like something straight out of the theater. I love the song & her dancers were balletic & on point. I saw quite a few dancers I recognized from So You Think You Dance. The piano playing was nice & then came the ‘blood’. I live for her Pop Art but this whole look of I just started my period on stage left me a little queezy. I found myself saying out loud, “Do you ever get that not so fresh feeling?” Her costumes throughout the night continued to be insane & that whole froc at the end when she won best new artist left me scratching my head. But I lived for your props to the gays & I find myself jealous of Perez for being your gay bf when I’ve been a fan way longer than he has. Gaga, I’m your biggest fan… I’ll follow you until you love me. Even if it’s some messy bloody coochie-azzi. (Ummm just saying that I feel I need a bath)
Pink is the baddest lesbian straight chick out there. I love her & I always have. Massive props to that whole acrobatic but still singing live performance of Sober. I have a slight fear of heights & all I could think of if that was me I would have dislocated my shoulder right then & there. I’m going to be seeing her live next month so I can’t wait to see her for that for her show. It’s sure to be awesome.
People seem to either hate or love Beyonce but I’ve been a fan since she busted out with some No, No, No back in 98 with Destiny’s Child. And I HAVE to say B killed it during her performance. I liked the whole singing live bit for the beginning and then breaking that shit down. Recently my friend Kareem was telling me about how hard it is to do the choreography to that song AND sing live. Mind you this was just for karaoke at a bar so just imagine how that’s upgraded for the VMA’s. Clearly B felt the same way because once she started dancing those backing vocals kicked in. Later, B took off the Sasha Fierce cap & replaced it with her Halo by giving Taylor her due. Clearly, B IS A CLASS ACT & Kanye needs to check his huge Ego & learn something from this wonderful lady.
I didn’t really care about the other performers. Yes, Green Day is cool but I don’t live for em. That other band, The Muse…..ok. I took a pee break. The whole Twilight phenom is lost on me. I was bored to tears during that movie. I prefer my vampires on True Blood. But when that chick asked what team you were on I felt really dirty for saying I am on Team Taylor since that kid is like 16 with the body of a man. Eminem’s new face scares me & I’ve been over him & all his hype for quite some time. I was excited to see Brit win. I hope she celebrated with some cheetos & a frappachino & some sexy times. I was bored during Jay-Z’s performance & kept saying, “Pull up your pants!” Alicia did a nice job & looked gorgeous. Then all of a sudden I saw a little midget tranny run upstage to literally try to do a gangster pose. Oh wait, that’s just Lil’ Mama. Ummm Lil’ Tranny, your lip gloss ain’t popping no mo. So sit your ass down.
There it is, my 2 cents worth. Big ups to all the ladies. Showing that you don’t have to be divas all the time & let everyone have their moments. Now I need to get back to work. I’m gonna be attending the Divas Live concert this Thurs so you can best believe I’ll be giving my 5 cents worth on Friday. Have a great week everyone!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Erase and Rewind
Hey, what did you hear me say
you know the difference it makes
what did you hear me say
Yes, I said it’s fine before
I don’t think so no more
I said it’s fine before
I’ve changed my mind
I take it back
Erase and rewind
’cause I’ve been changing my mind
I’ve changed my mind
Hello everyone. I meant to blog weeks ago. I had all these things that I wanted to devote a couple blogs to and then something else came up & put me for a loop. I still plan on doing these blogs but for now I’ll discuss the events at the end of August. Picture it. Bamboo 52. I’m hanging with my friend Jaime on his bday & I decide to make it an early night. I had went out the night and had a good time & I actually didn’t feel like making it a long night. I also decided to have just one drink, no need to get crazy. So by midnight on a Friday night I was in bed waiting to get my sleep on. A first in quite some time and when I woke up at 2:30 (just a few hrs later) I thought it was much later. Looking at the clock I realized hardly any time had gone by but somehow I felt like my body had literally fought a war. My shoulders were in a bit of pain & when I went to the bathroom & looked at my tongue I freaked out. I had clamped down on the left side of it & it was all red. Looking at my shoulders I was confused because they felt like they were dislocated but they didn’t appear that way at all. Not being able to barely move either one of them I decided I should get myself to the ER. It was in this moment I thought that I had had a seizure in my sleep & in this moment I feared the absolute worst. Had the tumor grown back?
I tried to remain composed as I told the nurses & the doctors what had happened & I told them all about my history. They asked when the last time I had a seizure was & I told them almost 2 years ago when they discovered the tumor & took it out. So they decided to do a CAT scan of my head & x-rays of my shoulders. I couldn’t help but kind of freak out even though I was trying to remain as calm as possible on the outside. The nurse told me that I seemed so calm. I told her that it may appear that way but on the inside I was going nanners. My words exactly. It was like I was instantly transported back to ‘07. When I went through it the first time everything was new & I had no idea what to expect. This time it was like all of those fears & feelings hit me at once. The thought of going through all of that again was too much to take. I thought about how other people who have gone through something similar must feel. People who have beat cancer or something else & then the thought of it coming back. The place your head goes when these thoughts happen is a scary place. Then, the dr came back with my results. She said that nothing showed up on the CAT scan & the x-rays didn’t show any dislocation of either shoulder. She even suggested that maybe I had not had a seizure at all. In that quick second I thought maybe I had in fact gone nanners.
So I left & went home. Still in pain. Still wondering what the hell had happened. By the next day the place on my tongue turned black & it hurt to eat. My shoulders were still in major pain & I could not move them above my head. I had to call out of work the next day & I went to my dr. He gave me anti-inflammatory meds (which have NOT worked) & we did blood work. It was gonna be a few more days before I could do the MRI so I was just left to wonder what would happen. This lead to me reading too much stuff on the web. I tried to take it with a grain of salt. I started reading about things that cause seizures. It of course said tumor and I of course wanted to think of something else. It then mentioned alcohol withdraw. I couldn’t help but laugh. I was like, “WTF?! Was my body mad at me because I decided to stay in on a Friday night & not drink? Was my head confused? Did that internal clock say it is 2 am Friday night & there should be some alcohol in my system?” I hope that gave you all a giggle because my dr looked at me & semi-laughed when I brought it up to him. In a dry kind of way he said, “Mr. Padron that is not meant for you. That’s meant for people who drink a bottle a day for 20 years & then all of a sudden stop.” I looked at him & said, “Oh.”
Next was my MRI & as always I felt a little claustrophobic being in it. I swear that thing feels like a coffin. So for 30 minutes I tried to think happy thoughts & just look forward to it being over. Earlier that day my regular dr had told me that the results of my blood work came back fine but I had definitely had a seizure. He said that the normal blood count in someone’s muscles was 100. Mine had come back at 1100! That explained why I felt like I had fought a war & at least I knew I wasn’t crazy & I knew I had had a seizure. This whole thing had put a major damper in my Labor Day Weekend plans. I had originally planned on going out to Fire Island & hanging with my boys & probably drink a little too much & flirt WAY too much. Now it wasn’t gonna happen. My poor arms looked like I had been hanging with Amy Winehouse while on a bender & the bruise on my arm looked like I had been on too many dates with Chris Beat Her Down Brown. Basically I looked like a HOT MESS.
So where did you see me go
it’s not the right way, you know
where did you see me go
No, it’s not that I don’t know
I just don’t want it to grow
It’s not that I don’t know
I’ve changed my mind
I take it back
I decided to hang with my Sober Sister Ej on Fri & Sunday night. We danced a lil at the Ritz. Mind you, my dancing was highly tamed down. As in I could only do my interpretation of some hips don’t lie because I sure as hell couldn’t raise them arms. On Saturday night I went to go see 9 to 5 for the second time. Big thanks to Chase for that. I ended up having a wonderful time. I was going to be the date to one of Allison Janney’s friends. When I got there I immediately was surprised because I had seen her in a lot of films but didn’t know her name. I told her I saw her in tons of things & she said all sly, “Oh stop! I haven’t been in tons of things!” I said, “You lie, I saw you in a movie just the other day!” She smiled & we became instant besties. When the show was over I went with her to hang with the cast & I was so excited. I’m a big fan of the show & I’ve always loved Allison in everything I’ve seen her in. It’s funny because now all week I keep seeing Octavia (new bestie) in tons of movies that have been showing this week. Legally Blonde 1 & 2, Beauty Shop, Miss Congeniality 2 & Spider Man just to name a few. Mind you, I’ve had a lot of alone time on my hands. A lot of time to chill basically. A lot of time to re-evaluate things. Sunday was calm as well & by the night Ej & I just bar hopped & ended up at Xes doing karaoke. Once again, I couldn’t give my all to it but vocally I was ripping up some Poker Face. If I could have done the acoustic version it would have been utter hotness. By the next day I thought hmmmm maybe this whole not drinking thing really does wonders for my voice lol. On Monday I had a nice time at a BBQ at my friend Eric’s new place & I had a few drinks but nothing major. For those of you worried, I asked my dr if he thought I should lay off the sauce & he said I should be ok but not to get too crazy. Another good reason I did not go out to Fire Island because I know what it is out there.
Finally, a few days ago my dr called me & told me the results of the MRI. He said everything looked good. It was in fact better than it had been since the last time I had an MRI done. He said the seizure was most likely from scar tissue. My next thing I have to do is to see a neurologist & find out if I have to go back on medication for seizures. I hated the stuff before but as I look at my poor arm & as it is still in pain, all I know is that I don’t want to have to deal with this again. I don’t want to get into a fight with myself & lose. So just send happy thoughts my way. It’s like I’m fricking Shelby from Steel Magnolia’s. There’s all these things I want to do but my poor body won’t let me. Meanwhile, I’m too headstrong & stubborn & the not being able to go to the gym & take dance classes has highly frustrated me.
But instead of being an uber bitch like I have been all week I will remain positive & take each day at a time. Try new things. I’ve been walking in Central Park for some kind of walking exercise & the time alone is kind of amazing. I also went to the library today & checked out some instructional cds on learning Spanish. It’s all apart of my new plans to do some new things. I’ll keep you up to date on the progress. I’ll also try to get those other blogs out asapenis.
you know the difference it makes
what did you hear me say
Yes, I said it’s fine before
I don’t think so no more
I said it’s fine before
I’ve changed my mind
I take it back
Erase and rewind
’cause I’ve been changing my mind
I’ve changed my mind
Hello everyone. I meant to blog weeks ago. I had all these things that I wanted to devote a couple blogs to and then something else came up & put me for a loop. I still plan on doing these blogs but for now I’ll discuss the events at the end of August. Picture it. Bamboo 52. I’m hanging with my friend Jaime on his bday & I decide to make it an early night. I had went out the night and had a good time & I actually didn’t feel like making it a long night. I also decided to have just one drink, no need to get crazy. So by midnight on a Friday night I was in bed waiting to get my sleep on. A first in quite some time and when I woke up at 2:30 (just a few hrs later) I thought it was much later. Looking at the clock I realized hardly any time had gone by but somehow I felt like my body had literally fought a war. My shoulders were in a bit of pain & when I went to the bathroom & looked at my tongue I freaked out. I had clamped down on the left side of it & it was all red. Looking at my shoulders I was confused because they felt like they were dislocated but they didn’t appear that way at all. Not being able to barely move either one of them I decided I should get myself to the ER. It was in this moment I thought that I had had a seizure in my sleep & in this moment I feared the absolute worst. Had the tumor grown back?
I tried to remain composed as I told the nurses & the doctors what had happened & I told them all about my history. They asked when the last time I had a seizure was & I told them almost 2 years ago when they discovered the tumor & took it out. So they decided to do a CAT scan of my head & x-rays of my shoulders. I couldn’t help but kind of freak out even though I was trying to remain as calm as possible on the outside. The nurse told me that I seemed so calm. I told her that it may appear that way but on the inside I was going nanners. My words exactly. It was like I was instantly transported back to ‘07. When I went through it the first time everything was new & I had no idea what to expect. This time it was like all of those fears & feelings hit me at once. The thought of going through all of that again was too much to take. I thought about how other people who have gone through something similar must feel. People who have beat cancer or something else & then the thought of it coming back. The place your head goes when these thoughts happen is a scary place. Then, the dr came back with my results. She said that nothing showed up on the CAT scan & the x-rays didn’t show any dislocation of either shoulder. She even suggested that maybe I had not had a seizure at all. In that quick second I thought maybe I had in fact gone nanners.
So I left & went home. Still in pain. Still wondering what the hell had happened. By the next day the place on my tongue turned black & it hurt to eat. My shoulders were still in major pain & I could not move them above my head. I had to call out of work the next day & I went to my dr. He gave me anti-inflammatory meds (which have NOT worked) & we did blood work. It was gonna be a few more days before I could do the MRI so I was just left to wonder what would happen. This lead to me reading too much stuff on the web. I tried to take it with a grain of salt. I started reading about things that cause seizures. It of course said tumor and I of course wanted to think of something else. It then mentioned alcohol withdraw. I couldn’t help but laugh. I was like, “WTF?! Was my body mad at me because I decided to stay in on a Friday night & not drink? Was my head confused? Did that internal clock say it is 2 am Friday night & there should be some alcohol in my system?” I hope that gave you all a giggle because my dr looked at me & semi-laughed when I brought it up to him. In a dry kind of way he said, “Mr. Padron that is not meant for you. That’s meant for people who drink a bottle a day for 20 years & then all of a sudden stop.” I looked at him & said, “Oh.”
Next was my MRI & as always I felt a little claustrophobic being in it. I swear that thing feels like a coffin. So for 30 minutes I tried to think happy thoughts & just look forward to it being over. Earlier that day my regular dr had told me that the results of my blood work came back fine but I had definitely had a seizure. He said that the normal blood count in someone’s muscles was 100. Mine had come back at 1100! That explained why I felt like I had fought a war & at least I knew I wasn’t crazy & I knew I had had a seizure. This whole thing had put a major damper in my Labor Day Weekend plans. I had originally planned on going out to Fire Island & hanging with my boys & probably drink a little too much & flirt WAY too much. Now it wasn’t gonna happen. My poor arms looked like I had been hanging with Amy Winehouse while on a bender & the bruise on my arm looked like I had been on too many dates with Chris Beat Her Down Brown. Basically I looked like a HOT MESS.
So where did you see me go
it’s not the right way, you know
where did you see me go
No, it’s not that I don’t know
I just don’t want it to grow
It’s not that I don’t know
I’ve changed my mind
I take it back
I decided to hang with my Sober Sister Ej on Fri & Sunday night. We danced a lil at the Ritz. Mind you, my dancing was highly tamed down. As in I could only do my interpretation of some hips don’t lie because I sure as hell couldn’t raise them arms. On Saturday night I went to go see 9 to 5 for the second time. Big thanks to Chase for that. I ended up having a wonderful time. I was going to be the date to one of Allison Janney’s friends. When I got there I immediately was surprised because I had seen her in a lot of films but didn’t know her name. I told her I saw her in tons of things & she said all sly, “Oh stop! I haven’t been in tons of things!” I said, “You lie, I saw you in a movie just the other day!” She smiled & we became instant besties. When the show was over I went with her to hang with the cast & I was so excited. I’m a big fan of the show & I’ve always loved Allison in everything I’ve seen her in. It’s funny because now all week I keep seeing Octavia (new bestie) in tons of movies that have been showing this week. Legally Blonde 1 & 2, Beauty Shop, Miss Congeniality 2 & Spider Man just to name a few. Mind you, I’ve had a lot of alone time on my hands. A lot of time to chill basically. A lot of time to re-evaluate things. Sunday was calm as well & by the night Ej & I just bar hopped & ended up at Xes doing karaoke. Once again, I couldn’t give my all to it but vocally I was ripping up some Poker Face. If I could have done the acoustic version it would have been utter hotness. By the next day I thought hmmmm maybe this whole not drinking thing really does wonders for my voice lol. On Monday I had a nice time at a BBQ at my friend Eric’s new place & I had a few drinks but nothing major. For those of you worried, I asked my dr if he thought I should lay off the sauce & he said I should be ok but not to get too crazy. Another good reason I did not go out to Fire Island because I know what it is out there.
Finally, a few days ago my dr called me & told me the results of the MRI. He said everything looked good. It was in fact better than it had been since the last time I had an MRI done. He said the seizure was most likely from scar tissue. My next thing I have to do is to see a neurologist & find out if I have to go back on medication for seizures. I hated the stuff before but as I look at my poor arm & as it is still in pain, all I know is that I don’t want to have to deal with this again. I don’t want to get into a fight with myself & lose. So just send happy thoughts my way. It’s like I’m fricking Shelby from Steel Magnolia’s. There’s all these things I want to do but my poor body won’t let me. Meanwhile, I’m too headstrong & stubborn & the not being able to go to the gym & take dance classes has highly frustrated me.
But instead of being an uber bitch like I have been all week I will remain positive & take each day at a time. Try new things. I’ve been walking in Central Park for some kind of walking exercise & the time alone is kind of amazing. I also went to the library today & checked out some instructional cds on learning Spanish. It’s all apart of my new plans to do some new things. I’ll keep you up to date on the progress. I’ll also try to get those other blogs out asapenis.
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