Wanna Be Startin' Something

I Said You Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’
You Got To Be Startin’ Somethin’
I Said You Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’
You Got To Be Startin’ Somethin’
It’s Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You’re Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder (Yeah, Yeah)


When I last left off I was about to discuss my trip to North Carolina. It’s a good thing I’ve waited until now to post about it. At least some of the acid saltiness I feel for it has washed off & for the most part I’m thankful for the good times I had while there. Not completely because you know I can hold a grudge like no ones business. If you ask if I’m heading back down there any time soon, my magic 8 ball says ‘Hell to the no!’

Whenever there is option for good or bad news first I always opt for the bad news first. It’s like go ahead & hit me with it so I can deal with it. With that being said, I arrived there on the 1st of the month & my mother & younger sister picked me up at the airport. I haven’t seen them since Nov. 2007 when they came up for Thanksgiving. I was still dealing with the after effects of the brian tumor. A lot of things were different then. For me that is. My mom on the other hand is still just as bi-polar as ever. It may actually have gotten worse. Now this is not an actual diagnose unless you would like to call me Dr. Padron. Ever since I was a kid I can always remember not knowing how she would react to anything said. There are times you can say a joke & she would laugh her ass off to it but then there are times that you say the same thing & she will fly off the handle like a bat out of hell. All day long, she was semi fine. I thought she would get excited for this cd of music I put together for her. It was music that I knew she didn’t have & it was a bunch of songs that are hard to find now. Being the music man that I am, I found them online & spent a good part of my work day doing this for her. This excited her & she sang along for the rest of the car trip. Yay! Nick is a good son. Although for the next few hrs I kept hearing about how the dog is the only thing that loves her. It loves her more than her own kids. Ummmm, thanks. Before I had come I had been trying to figure out where I would stay because I do not stay with her whenever I go down. It’s a lot of reasons but mainly there is no room in the house & I don’t feel comfortable there anyway. Many years ago I would stay at my grandparents. Since my grandmother died & my grandfather is now on his second wife since she died I don’t really care to stay there as well. Either way, I always prefer to stay with friends. But, I mainly try not to be an inconvenience to any one. Is that often for most folks to feel that way?

All that being said my mom told me that I could stay with her male friend at his place. Mind you, I haven’t properly met this guy so I thought it was odd. Apparently he’s head over heels for my mom & when I had the chance to meet him I thought he was a really nice guy. Too bad my mom is basically using him for her own convenience. He would go to speak & she would interrupt him. In my head I thought ‘Nice guy, but poor schmuck.’ Our next plan was to meet up with my sister & her boyfriend & we would go out for her bday dinner. My mom had also said that the next day we would all go to Carowinds. I hadn’t been there since the 90’s & was actually really looking forward to it. For those that don’t know, it’s like a 6 Flags. My sister Andrea said that she wanted to go to this one restaurant & my mom was annoyed because she didn’t know it, it didn’t have a buffet. She also wanted to be able to take the dog. Ummm, how many places can you go that you can bring a fricking dog? Then my other sister Anna made the point that it WAS Andrea’s bday so how about we go where she wanted to go. Not saying, but seriously just saying. As soon as we got there my mom seemed annoyed & not sure if she would like the food blah blah blah & that it would be too expensive. She then asked who she would have to pay for as she looked at me & Andrea’s bf. It seemed kind of funny to me because most parents pay for their whole children when they come to visit for a dinner. Richard (Andrea’s bf) said he would pay for his & I said I could pay for mine. Then she told me no, I’ll pay for you. I still hear about how much money I cost since I was a kid so knowing that I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu. A $6 blackened chicken salad. It was ok, a lil spicy but I like spicy. When the bill came once again my mom made a comment about how she only had $50 on her so she hoped it wasn’t more than that. I did the math in my head of how much everyone (excluding Richard’s) would be & it added up to maybe $35. Still she acted annoyed. So trying to joke & make light of it I said, “Hey maybe I can go throw up the salad & we can take it off the menu.” Now if I said this to any of my friends or any one else I know this could be funny. Vadim would have said something like, “Why are you eating anyway, it’s not Tuesday.” Jaime would say, “Bitch, you don’t eat anyway.” Comments all in good fun. Not for my mom & not on this day. She waited until we were outside in the parking lot to thoroughly throw a fit about how it wasn’t funny & that I was an awful son. That I don’t take time come down. Ummm hello, I’m here right now! I took the time off of work just to come down. I had been trying to contact everyone for a month so I could coordinate plans. No one would call me back. She started going on about how I didn’t send a card for Mother’s Day & I didn’t call. When in fact I had tried to call but being that she didn’t want to receive text messages she gave up her voicemail. So on that day when I had called I couldn’t reach her all day. Still going off she told me to get in the car & I said you’re crazy angry right now & I’m not getting in the car with a crazy person. She looked at my sister & said he should have just died when he had the tumor. And with that I checked out of the argument. I looked at Andrea & told her to take me anywhere but there & we would try to pick up my bag from that guys house & I would figure out somewhere to stay. I had not even been in NC for 24 hrs. I may never look at a blackened chicken salad the same.

The next few days were good. I hung out with my sister & her bf. He’s a really nice guy & I’m glad that she has someone that loves her so much. I also got to hang with my friend Lisa, from high school. Her parents had this bbq right before the fourth of July & we all had a good time. I got to see her with a buzz which I had never seen before. I also reconnected with some girls from high school that I literally hadn’t seen in a decade. I found myself at one point at a softball game which was kind of funny. I don’t do anything with balls unless they come in a set & when one came flying at me I politely moved to the left. All the lesbians looked at me & laughed. I also was like what is in the water here & where did all the lesbians come from & where are the gays? I was out of my comfort zone but to be honest they were straight up cool. No pun intended about the straight part ladies. I got to hang out with another really good friend of mine since 7th grade. It’s always nice to know that even though life changes & takes you to new places & new lives, you can still meet up & chat like no time has passed.

After some happy goodbyes, I left to meet Shuley & we were on our way to Wilmington. As soon as we got there we barely took time to drop off bags because we were gonna head to a pool party at my friend Blair’s. We had an awesome time & it was a wonderful way to be welcomed back to Wilmington. I also enjoyed that I was the youngest gay there, that hasn’t happened in a long ass time. And ohhhh how I do enjoy the southern gays. Maybe I’ve become a tad bit jaded about certain things & I need to sprinkle it with some of my former southern charm. This was to be the last time I saw a lil bit of sun because the rest of my time there the sun said goodbye to Wilmington. That sucked because after having like 22 days of rain in June the weather was fabulous for the 4th. This is when my jaded self says, “Of course I would bring the rain with me.” But, it was still good to see all of my Wilmington boys & hang out with them. I’m always reminded of that when you can’t have a family per se you can make your own family with your friends. For everyone who made the time for me I can’t say thanks enough. I brought a little bit of NY scandal out & about on that Saturday night there. I thought it was funny because to me I was being calm. Seriously. Hee hee. I told everyone that they could come visit me any time. Mainly because I don’t see myself going down there any time in the distant future.

So that’s it in a nutshell & regarding the whole mom issue all I can say is it is what it is. In all honesty I did not go down there to deal with razor sharp things said to me. I’m not a child anymore & that kind of thing doesn’t fly with me. I had just wanted to celebrate my sister turning 21. I remember mine. I was just starting to come out & felt like there was so much more in life I needed to discover & learn. I just wanted to be there for hers. Needless to say there was no trip to Carowinds. Maybe this semi-jaded New Yorker will not say no completely. Maybe someday, but NOT any time soon. This Friday is yet another b-day. I swear they come way too fast for my liking. This year I’m taking Nickakah to Fire Island. I feel like I’ve done everything there is to be done in NY so I need something fresh. I had a warm up this past weekend. It was an awesome time & I’m completely tan. I can’t wait for the weekend. My bdays are always fun & good times & I can’t wait to share the stories with you. Until then……..

Help Me Sing It, Ma Ma Se,
Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa
Ma Ma Se, Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa