Madonna Dreams of Nicky Boom Box

So a couple weeks back I had a dream that I was chatting with Madonna about her upcoming show. It was funny because it wasn't like I had just met her or something, we were friends & I decided to give my creative input on her show. I told her I've seen plenty of her shows & I was gonna see the MDNA but I wanted to let her know I wished the setlist could change up a bit. She was like, "Oh really? If you were creative director for the show what would you do?" So I told her that she should do some songs she's never performed before, songs that were hits but she'd never performed live. I said mix that with classics & with new. I started listing off songs that I'd love to see her do & what she should do with them. She sat there listening intently & eagerly & when she let me finish she said, "You done?" I said yes. She said, "That sounds great & all but just remember I'm still Madonna, I'll do what I want." Even in my dreams she's still the same Madonna. So when I woke up I decided I was gonna do a 2 hr mix of songs that I wish she'd do. I decided to title it Madonna Dreams of Nicky Boom Box. In the comments of this blog you'll find the media fire link that you can download the mp3. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did doing it. And if not, well whatever..... I'm still Nicky Boom Box. For those of you that love to know what is in the setlist here are the tracks. For those of you that like to be surprised & just listen don't look any further. 1. Bedtime Story 2. Future Lovers (Amokk's Vocal Club mix) 3. Deeper And Deeper (David's Klub mix) 4. I'm Addicted 5. Frozen (Victor Calderon Direct Hit Re-Edit 6. Rescue Me (single mix0 &. Thief Of Hearts 8. Gang Bang 9. Think Of Me (Dubtronic Reconstruction remix) 10. Fever (video version) 11. Burning Up 12. Justify My Love (fuck me mix) 13. The Power Of Good-bye 14. I'll Remember 15. Celebration (Saint Ken Vocal Mix) (includes bits of Holiday & Into The Groove) 16. Toop Toop Groove (Loo & Placido Mix) 17. Causing A Commotion 18. Dress You Up 19. Express Yourself (remix) 20. Pump Up Another Day (Madonna vs. Technotronic) 21. Vogue 22. Music 23. Take A Bow 24. Like A Prayer (Adi Perez 09 mix) 25. Hung Up vs Gimme Gimme Gimme (Offer Nissim Promo mix) (Madonna vs Abba)

Top 130 Songs of 2011

So it's that time again for my annual list. In November of 2010 I heard my number one & had no idea it would have the impact here in the US that it would get months later. Then in February I heard her other song. It's no shock that this was Adele's year. I included the other songs that have charted but look for them to storm the airwaves this year. Just saying. There are some holdovers from 2010 because they just got better over time. Rihanna, Gaga, David Guetta & Nicki Minaj are all over this chart. As well as Katy Perry & Britney. I included every song that was technically a single somewhere in the world representing many genres. Hope you find it pretty informative, thanks wikipedia!

1. Rolling In The Deep/Adele #1 (7 weeks) US, Canada #2 UK #3 Australia

2. Someone Like You/Adele #1 (5 weeks) US, UK, Australia #2 Canada

3. We Found Love/Rihanna feat. Calvin Harris #1 (8 weeks) US, (6 weeks) UK, Canada #2 Australia

4. Born This Way/Lady Gaga #1 (6 weeks) US, Australia, Canada #3 UK

5. Firework/Katy Perry #1 (4 weeks) US, Canada #3 Australia, UK

6. On The Floor/Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull #1 (2 weeks) UK, Australia, Canada, US Dance #3 US Pop

7. Moves Like Jagger/Maroon 5 feat. Christina Aguilera #1 (4 weeks) US, Canada #2 Australia, UK

8. Party Rock Anthem/LMFAO feat. Lauren Bennett & Goon Rock #1 (6 weeks) US (4 weeks) UK, Australia, Canada

9. Fuck You/Cee-Lo Green #1 (2 weeks) UK, #2 US #5 Australia #7 Canada

10. Hold It Against Me/Britney Spears #1 US, Canada #4 Australia #6 UK

11. E.T./Katy Perry feat. Kanye West #1 (5 weeks) US, Canada #3 UK #5 Australia

12. S&M (b/w remix feat. Britney Spears)/Rihanna #1 US, Australia, Canada #3 UK

13. Super Bass/Nicki Minaj #3 US #6 Australia, Canada #8 UK

14. Till The World Ends (b/w remix feat. Nicki Minaj & Kesha)/Britney Spears #3 US #4 Canada #8 Australia #21 UK

15. Blow/Kesha #7 US #10 Australia #12 Canada #32 UK

16. Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)/Katy Perry #1 (2 weeks) US, Canada #5 Australia #9 UK

17. Aphrodite/Kylie Minogue #6 Belgium

18. Hello/Martin Solveig feat. Dragonette #1 US Dance #8 Canada #13 Australia, UK #46 US Pop

19. F**kin' Perfect/Pink #2 Canada, US #10 Australia, UK

20. Pumped Up Kicks/Foster The People #1 US Alternative #3 US Pop, Canada #7 Australia #18 UK

21. Mr. Saxobeat/Alexandra Stan #1 US Dance #3 UK #21 US Pop #19 Australia #25 Canada

22. Love On Top/Beyonce #20 Australia, US #22 UK #65 Canada

23. The Edge Of Glory #1 US Dance #2 Australia #3 US Pop, Canada #6 UK

24. Take Over Control/Afrojack feat. Eva Simons #17 Australia #24 UK #39 Canada #41 US

25. Grenade/Bruno Mars #1 (3 weeks) US (2 weeks) UK, Australia, Canada

26. Give Me Everything/Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack & Nayer #1 (3 weeks) UK, (1 week) US, Canada #2 Australia

27. I Wanna Go/Britney Spears #1 US Dance #5 Canada #7 US Pop #31 Australia

28. Wet/Nicole Scherzinger #10 Ireland #21 UK #34 Australia

29. Just Can't Get Enough/Black Eyed Peas #1 Brazil #3 UK, US, Australia #5 Canada

30. Without You/David Guetta feat. Usher #3 Canada #4 US #6 Australia, UK

31. Rumour Has It/Adele #1 US Triple A #60 US Pop

32. Pretty Girl Rock/Keri Hilson #4 US R&B #24 US Pop

33. Tonight (I'm Lovin' You)/Enrique Iglesias feat. Ludacris & DJ Frank E #2 Australia #3 Canada, UK #4 US

34. In The Dark/Dev #1 Slovakia, US Dance #7 Brazil #11 US Pop #13 Canada #37 UK

35. Set Fire To The Rain/Adele #6 Canada #7 US #11 Australia, UK

36. You And I/Lady Gaga #6 US #10 Canada #14 Australia #23 UK

37. Turning Tables/Adele #60 Canada #62 UK #63 US #73 Australia

38. Run The World (Girls)/Beyonce #1 US Dance #10 Australia #11 UK #16 Canada #29 US Pop

39. Who's That Chick/David Guetta feat. Rihanna #1 US Dance #6 UK #7 Australia #26 Canada #51 US Pop

40. Marry The Night/Lady Gaga #11 Canada #16 UK #29 US

41. Sexy And I Know It/LMFAO #1 Australia, Canada, US #5 UK

42. Titanium/David Guetta feat. Sia #5 Australia #17 Canada #16 UK #66 US

43. All About Tonight/Pixie Lott #1 UK, Scotland #9 Ireland

44. Judas/Lady Gaga #1 US Dance #6 Australia #8 Canada, UK #10 US Pop

45. The One That Got Away/Katy Perry #3 US #2 Canada #18 UK

46. Call Your Girlfriend/Robyn #1 US Dance #8 Belgium #43 Sweden #55 UK

47. Criminal/Britney Spears #3 Brazil #16 Canada #55 US

48. Motivation/Kelly Rowland feat. Lil' Wayne #1 (7 weeks) US R&B #17 US Pop

49. Don't Hold Your Breath/Nicole Scherzinger #1 UK #2 US Dance #17 Australia #86 US Pop

50. Put Your Hands Up (If You Feel Love)/Kylie Minogue #1 US Dance #50 Australia #93 UK

51. Higher/Taio Cruz feat. Kylie Minogue/Travie McCoy #1 US Dance #8 UK #13 Canada #25 Australia #24 US Pop

52. Where Them Girls At/David Guetta feat. Flo Rida & Nicki Minaj #3 UK, Canada #6 Australia #14 US

53. Cheers (Drink To That)/Rihanna #6 Australia/Canada #7 US #15 UK

54. Moment 4 Life/Nicki Minaj feat. Drake #1 US R&B #13 US Pop #22 UK #27 Canada

55. Vanguardian/Steed Lord

56. Price Tag/Jessie J feat. B.o.B. #1 UK #2 Australia #4 Canada #23 US

57. Money Grabber/Fitz & The Tantrums #33 US Rock

58. Dirty Dancer/Enrique Iglesias feat. Usher, Lil' Wayne & Nayer #1 US Dance #9 Australia, Canada #18 US Pop #21 UK

59. Papi/Jennifer Lopez #1 US Dance #3 Italy #9 Finland #50 Canada #96 US Pop

60. Better Than Today/Kylie Minogue #1 US Dance #32 UK #55 Australia

61. Barbra Streisand/Duck Sauce #1 US Dance #3 UK #9 Australia #35 Canada #89 US Pop

62. Sweat (David Guetta remix)/Snoop Dogg #1 Australia #4 UK, US Pop #25 Canada

63. Miami 2 Ibiza/Swedish House Mafia vs. Tinie Tempah #1 US Dance #3 UK #31 Australia

64. Rocketeer/Far East Movement feat. Ryan Tedder #7 US #14 UK, Australia #22 Canada

65. Changed The Way You Kissed Me/Example #1 UK #16 Australia

66. You Make Me Feel/Cobra Starship feat. Sabi #3 Australia #4 Canada #7 US #16 UK

67. Collide/Leona Lewis & Avicii #1 US Dance #3 Ireland #4 UK

68. Mr. Know It All/Kelly Clarkson #1 Australia #4 UK #10 US #11 Canada

69. The Lazy Song/Bruno Mars #1 UK #4 US #5 Canada #6 Australia

70. I Like How It Feels/Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull #1 US Dance #11 Canada #26 Australia #74 US Pop

71. Party/Beyonce feat. Andre 3000 #2 US R&B #50 US Pop

72. Hair/Lady Gaga #11 Canada #12 US #13 UK #20 Australia

73. Down For Whatever/Kelly Rowland feat. the WAVs #6 UK

74. Countdown/Beyonce #1 US Dance #21 US R&B #35 UK #71 US Pop

75. Brand New Bitch/Anjulie #3 US Dance #16 Canada

76. Shake It Out/Florence & The Machine #2 Ireland #12 UK #13 US Dance #79 US Pop

77. Swagger Jagger/Cher Lloyd #1 UK, Scotland #2 Ireland

78. Loca People/Sak Noel #1 UK #5 Sweden

79. Stereo Hearts/Gym Class Heroes feat. Adam Levine #3 UK #4 Australia, US #7 Canada

80. Best Thing I Never Had/Beyonce #1 US Dance #3 UK #16 US Pop #17 Australia

81. I'm Into You/Jennifer Lopez feat. Lil' Wayne #1 US Dance #9 UK #41 US Pop

82. Love You Like A Love Song/Selena Gomez & The Scene #1 US Dance, Russia #10 Canada #26 US Pop

83. Notorious/The Saturdays #8 UK

84. What A Feeling/Alex Gaudino feat. Kelly Rowland #6 UK #26 US Dance

85. Free/Natalia Kills feat. Will.I.Am #4 Austria #9 Slovakia

86. I Wrote The Book/Beth Ditto #6 Belgium #19 US Dance

87. All Fired Up/The Saturdays #3 UK, Scotland #6 Ireland

88. More/Usher #1 Canada #7 Australia #15 US #23 UK

89. Good Life/One Republic #5 Canada #8 US

90. Rumour Has It/Someone Like You/Glee Cast #11 US

91. Man Down/Rihanna #1 France, Switzerland #9 US R&B #54 UK #59 US Pop

92. It Will Rain/Bruno Mars #3 US #5 Canada #14 Australia, UK

93. I'm Still Hot/Luciana #1 US Dance

94. Who's Laughing Now/Jessie J #16 UK

95. Mean/Taylor Swift #2 US Country #10 Canada #11 US Pop

96. Starlight/Sophie Ellis-Bextor #26 UK Indie Chart

97. California King Bed/Rihanna #1 US Dance #4 Australia #8 UK #20 Canada #37 US Pop

98. 6 Foot 7 Foot/ Lil' Wayne feat. Cory Gunz #2 US Rap & R&B #9 US Pop

99. 2Gether/Far East Movement & Roger Sanchez feat. Kanobby #6 Belgium

100. Shake/Little Boots #37 UK Dance

101. Boadicea/Mason feat. Roisin Murphy

102. Sweetest High/Nadine Coyle

103. Take Care/Drake feat. Rihanna #9 US, UK

104. Jealousy/Will Young #5 UK

105. Howlin' For You/The Black Keys #3 US Alternative

106. Beat Of My Drum/Nicola Roberts #27 UK

107. Animale/Don Diablo feat. Dragonette

108. Marry You/Bruno Mars #8 Australia #10 Canada #11 UK #85 US

109. Good Feeling/Flo Rida #2 UK #3 Canada #4 Australia, US

110. Dance With Me Tonight/Olly Murs #1 UK, Scotland #3 Ireland

111. If I Die Young/The Band Perry #1 US Country #14 US Pop

112. Show Me/Jessica Sutta #1 US Dance

113. You Need Me, I Don't Need You/Ed Sheeran #4 UK

114. The A Team/Ed Sheeran #2 Australia #3 US

115. Levels/Avicii #1 US Dance #4 UK #26 Australia #66 US Pop

116. If This Was A Movie/Taylor Swift #10 US Pop

117. Glad You Came/The Wanted #1 UK, Belgium, Ireland

118. Til Death/Wynter Gordon #3 US Dance

119. Just A Kiss/Lady Antebellum #1 US Country #7 US Pop

120. Tonight Tonight/Hot Chelle Rae #7 Australia, US #10 Canada

121. Heart Skips A Beat/Olly Murs feat. Rizzle Kicks #1 UK

122. Somebody That I Used To Know/Gotye feat. Kimbra #1 Australia, Belgium

123. Something For The Weekend/Ben Westbeech

124. Tighten Up/The Black Keys #1 US Alternative #87 US Pop

125. We Are Young/Fun feat. Janelle Monae #22 US Alternative #53 US Pop

126. Tonight Is The Night/Outasight #54 US

127. Ni**as In Paris/Jay-Z & Kanye West #1 US Rap #5 US Pop

128. Body And Soul/Tony Bennett & Amy Winehouse #40 UK #87 US

129. Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall/Coldplay #6 UK #9 Canada #14 Australia, US

130. Dance (A$$)/Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj #2 US Rap #4 US R&B #10 US Pop

The Sound of Missing You

I miss hearing your voice,
All the words that you said to me
But now this empty space fills me up and takes over me
And I can’t escape it

It's been 2 years since you left us. People say you never stop thinking about your loved ones when they're gone & I know it's true. I'm not lying when I say I've thought of you at some moment every single day since then. A song will come on, a reference to an old club, a reference to old boyfriends, so many things. I have a pic of us on my wall near my bedroom door. You'd appreciate the amount of boys that have asked who that cute guy is in the pic. That's a lot of time to think about someone & I don't even think I think of myself that much which I'm sure you're getting a giggle out of. What's hard for me to realize is every time I think I'm over it... I'm not. Someone else will bring it up or some friends & I will talk of some funny things that we would do & secretly inside I fall apart.

I can’t break through these walls that are rising in front of me
And the deeper I fall, I realise I'm never gonna be free
Baby release me

It always keeps coming back
The sound of missing you
I hear it all around
The sound of missing you
The silence is so loud
The sound of missing you

Time goes by and it feels like I’m just going out of my mind
What we had, bring it back now
Cause I’m feeling empty inside
Oh, times goes by and it feels like I’m just going out of my mind
What we had, bring it back now
Cause I’m feeling empty inside


Somehow just today I'm finding out about Gem. It breaks my heart to know he passed a short time ago. I do take solace that I'm sure you're walking him all over Heaven & the fact that he was able to be reunited with you. You two were quite the pair. He was pretty much you're baby. As I type that I can hear you getting him to do things. I can remember the love I saw in your eyes when you would look into those big beautiful eyes of his. It was adorable. So even though I know he's gone at least he's with you. Just wished we had you both.


It always keeps coming back
The sound of missing you
I hear it all around
The sound of missing you
The silence is so loud

the sound of missing you.....
I'll love and miss you always.
Save some dancing space for me.

Top 150 Songs of 2010

It’s that time again folks. Nick’s top songs of the year. There is a bit of a change this year. Instead of it being top 100 it’s now 150. Basically it’s me including tons of songs that weren’t released in the US. Another change is I’ve included a few songs that initially charted a few yrs ago but considering the amount of times I played them & couldn’t get them out of my head I had to include them. Case in point Alphabeat. Somehow Ke$ha ended up with the most singles on this list which I don’t know how that happened. She may be a complete hot mess but I guess I can’t get her songs out of my head. For the third year in a row Gaga has the top song. There are a few songs that were on the list for ‘09 & found their way on this one as well because they continued to chart this year & dominate radio or downloads…. or at least stuck in my head. Check it out & if there are any songs you don’t know look em up, you just may like them.

1. Bad Romance/Lady Gaga #1 UK, Canada, US Dance #2 US Pop, Australia

2. Tik Tok/Ke$ha #1 (9 weeks) US, Australia, Canada #4 UK

3. California Gurls/Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg #1 (6 weeks) US, Australia, Canada, UK

4. Once/Diana Vickers #1 UK #3 Ireland

5. Only Girl (In The World)/Rihanna #1 US, UK, Australia, Canada

6. Boyfriend/Alphabeat #15 UK

7. Telephone/Lady Gaga & Beyonce #1 UK, #3 US, Australia, Canada

8. All The Lovers/Kylie Minogue #1 US Dance #3 UK #13 Australia

9. Pick Up The Phone/Dragonette #28 Canada

10. Rude Boy/Rihanna #1 (5 weeks) US, Australia #2 UK, US R&B #7 Canada

11. Whataya Want From Me/Adam Lambert #3 Canada #4 Australia #10 US

12. Raise Your Glass/Pink #1 US, Australia #2 Canada #13 UK

13. Teenage Dream/Katy Perry #1 (2 weeks) US #2 Australia, Canada, UK

14. Need You Now/Lady Antebellum #1 (5 weeks) US Country #2 US Pop, Canada #21 UK #27 Australia

15. Your Love Is My Drug/Ke$ha #3 Australia #4 US #6 Canada #13 UK

16. Break Your Heart/Taio Cruz feat. Ludacris #1 (3 weeks) US, Canada, UK #2 Australia

17. OMG/Usher feat. Will.I.Am #1 (4 weeks) US, Australia, UK #2 Canada

18. Dancing On My Own/Robyn #1 Sweden #3 US Dance #8 UK

19. Alejandro/Lady Gaga #1 US Dance #2 Australia #4 Canada #5 US Pop #7 UK

20. Get Outta My Way/Kylie Minogue #1 US Dance #12 UK #69 Australia

21. Take It Off/Ke$ha #5 Australia #8 US, Canada #15 UK

22. Love The Way You Lie/Eminem feat. Rihanna #1 (7 weeks) US, Australia, Canada #2 UK

23. Dynamite/Taio Cruz #1 Australia, Canada, UK #2 US

24. Like A G6/Far East Movement feat. Dev & The Cataracs #1 (3 weeks) US #2 Australia #3 Canada #5 UK

25. Fuck You/Cee-Lo Green #1 UK #5 Australia #9 US #11 Canada

26. Acapella/Kelis #1 US Dance #5 UK

27. DJ/Alphabeat #6 Denmark

28. Put It In A Love Song/Alicia Keys feat. Beyonce #18 Australia #60 US R&B

29. My Secret Lover/Private #1 Denmark

30. Promise This/Cheryl Cole #1 UK, Ireland

31. Make You Feel My Love/Adele #4 UK #5 Ireland

32. Firework/Katy Perry #1 (3 weeks) US, Canada #3 Australia, UK

33. Hey, Soul Sister/Train #1 US Adult Contemporary, Australia #3 Canada, US Pop

34. Indestructible/Robyn #4 Sweden

35. Un-Thinkable (I’m Ready)/Alicia Keys #1 (12 weeks) US R&B #21 US Pop

36. Just The Way You Are/Bruno Mars #1 US, UK, Australia, Canada

37. Imma Be/Black Eyed Peas #1 US #7 Australia

38. Not Myself Tonight/Christina Aguilera #1 US Dance #11 Canada #12 UK #22 Australia #23 US Pop

39. I Like It/Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull #1 Canada, US Dance #2 Australia #4 US Pop, UK

40. Dance In The Dark/Lady Gaga #24 Australia

41. Latest Heartbreak/22-20’s

42. Hang With Me/Robyn #2 Sweden #10 US Dance

43. Woo Hoo/Christina Aguilera feat. Nicki Minaj #46 Canada #79 US

44. Glitter In The Air/Pink #13 Canada #18 US

45. Candy/Aggro Santos feat. Kimberly Wyatt #5 UK

46. Broken Heels/Alexandra Burke #5 Ireland #8 UK

47. Revolver/Madonna #4 US Dance #47 Canada

48. What’s My Name/Rihanna feat. Drake #1 US #2 UK #5 Canada #18 Australia

49. My Chick Bad/Ludacris feat. Nicki Minaj #2 US Rap & R&B #11 US Pop

50. Dirty Picture/Taio Cruz feat. Ke$ha #6 UK #16 Australia #49 Canada #96 US

51. The Boy Who Murdered Love/Diana Vickers #36 UK

52. Oh Santa!/Mariah Carey #1 US Adult Contemporary #100 US Pop

53. Why Don’t You Love Me/Beyonce #1 US Dance #14 UK R&B

54. Rocket/Goldfrapp #1 US Dance #47 UK

55. Good Times/Roll Deep feat. Jodie Connor #1 UK

56. Haven’t Met You Yet/Michael Buble #1 US Adult Contemporary #4 Canada #5 UK #9 Australia #24 US Pop

57. Momma’s Place/Roisin Murphy #27 UK Indie Singles

58. Not Giving Up On Love/Armin Van Buuren feat. Sophie Ellis-Bextor #1 Poland #3 Russia #27 UK Dance

59. Hole In My Heart/Alphabeat #29 UK

60. My First Kiss/3Oh3! feat. Ke$ha #7 Canada & UK #9 US #13 Australia

61. Stuck Like Glue/Sugarland #2 US Country #17 US Pop

62. Bittersweet/Sophie Ellis-Bextor #14 UK Dance #25 UK Pop

63. DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love/Usher feat. Pitbull #2 Canada #3 Australia #4 US #7 UK

64. Gypsy/Shakira #1 US Latin Pop #65 US Pop

65. Jar Of Hearts/Christina Perri #34 US #36 Canada

66. Beautiful Monster/Ne-Yo #1 UK, US Dance #40 Canada #53 US Pop

67. We R Who We R/Ke$ha #1 US, Australia #2 Canada

68. In My Head/Jason Derulo #1 UK, Australia #2 Canada #5 US

69. Stereo Love/Edward Maya feat. Vika Jigulina #1 France #4 UK #10 Canada #16 US

70. Waka Waka (This Time For Africa)/Shakira #1 Sweden, Poland, Italy #2 US Latin Pop #11 Canada #21 UK #38 US Pop

71. Rock That Body/Black Eyed Peas #8 Australia #9 US #11 UK

72. Can’t Fight This Feeling/Junior Caldera feat. Sophie Ellis-Bextor #1 Russia, Poland

73. 3 Words/Cheryl Cole feat. Will.I.Am #4 UK #5 Australia #7 Ireland

74. Secrets/One Republic #1 Poland #21 US #32 Canada

75. Dog Days Are Over/Florence & The Machine #6 Ireland #9 US Rock #19 Canada #21 US Pop #23 UK

76. Check It Out/Nicki Minaj & Will.I.Am #11 UK #14 Canada US Rap #21 Australia #24 US Pop

77. Whip My Hair/Willow #2 UK #5 US R&B #11 US Pop #18 Australia, Canada

78. Club Can’t Handle Me/Flo-Rida feat. David Guetta #1 UK #3 Australia #4 Canada #9 US

79. Gettin’ Over You/David Guetta &Chris Willis feat. Fergie & LMFAO #1 US Dance, UK #5 Australia #12 Canada #31 US Pop

80. Misery/Maroon 5 #5 US Dance #13 Canada #14 US Pop #30 UK

81. Mine/Taylor Swift #2 US Country #3 US Pop #7 Canada #9 Australia

82. Nothin’ On You/B.o.B. feat. Bruno Mars #1 US, UK #3 Australia #10 Canada

83. I Like/Keri Hilson #1 Germany #15 UK R&B #34 UK Pop

84. Cooler Than Me/Mike Posner #4 Australia #5 Canada, UK #6 US

85. If I Had You/Adam Lambert #4 Australia #8 Canada #30 US

86. Parachute/Cheryl Cole #4 Ireland #5 UK

87. Commander/Kelly Rowland #1 US Dance #2 UK Dance #9 UK Pop

88. Hands/The Ting-Tings #29 UK

89. Your Love/Nicki Minaj #1 US Rap #4 US R&B #14 US Pop #32 Australia

90. It Kills Me/Melanie Fiona #1 US R&B #43 US Pop

91. You Used To Hold Me/Calvin Harris #4 UK Dance #27 UK Pop

92. Loca/Shakira feat. Dizzee Rascal #1 US Latin Pop/Dance, Poland, Spain #32 US Pop #36 Canada

93. Baby/Justin Bieber feat. Ludacris #3 Australia, Canada, UK #5 US

94. Just A Dream/Nelly #3 Australia, US #5 Canada #8 UK

95. Monster/Lady Gaga #6 Hungary #22 US Latin Pop #29 US Dance

96. Empire State Of Mind pt. 2 (Broken Down)/Alicia Keys #4 UK #8 Ireland #55 US

97. Back To December/Taylor Swift #6 US Pop #7 Canada #13 US Country

98. Impossible/Shontelle #9 UK #13 US

99. King Of Anything/Sara Bareilles #11 US Adult Contemporary #32 US Pop

100. Better Than Today/Kylie Minogue #32 UK

101. Can’t Be Tamed/Miley Cyrus #6 Canada #8 US #13 UK #14 Australia

102. Alive/Goldfrapp #1 US Dance

103. Carry Out/Timbaland feat. Justin Timberlake #6 UK #7 Canada #11 US

104. I Am/Mary J. Blige #3 US Dance #4 US R&B #34 UK #55 US Pop

105. The Time (Dirty Bit)/Black Eyed Peas #1 Australia, Canada, UK #4 US

106. The Only Exception/Paramore #1 UK Rock #17 Australia#24 US #25 Canada

107. Happiness/Alexis Jordan #1 US Dance #3 UK #25 Australia

108. Release Me/Zoe Badwi #1 Australia Dance

109. Bottoms Up/Trey Songz feat. Nicki Minaj #2 US R&B #6 US Pop

110. Teenage Dream/Glee Cast #8 US Pop #10 Canada

111. Blah Blah Blah/Ke$ha feat. 3Oh!3 #3 Australia, Canada #7 US #11 UK

112. Peacock/Katy Perry #1 US Dance

113. Give A Little More/Maroon 5 #86 US

114. The Sound Of Missing You/Ameerah #3 US Dance

115. Make Me Wanna Die/The Pretty Wreckless #1 UK Rock #16 UK Pop

116. Live Like We’re Dying/Kris Allen #8 US AC #18 US Pop #41 Canada

117. Louboutins/Jennifer Lopez #1 US Dance

118. 4th of July/Kelis #4 US Dance #32 UK

119. Today Was A Fairytale/Taylor Swift #1 Canada #2 US Pop #3 Australia

120. Clap Your Hands/Sia

121. Fire In Your New Shoes/Kaskade feat. Dragonette #69 Canada

122. Night Is Young/Nelly Furtado #20 Canada

123. For The First Time/The Script #4 UK #12 Australia

124. Heartbox/Christophe Willem

125. Video Phone/Beyonce & Lady Gaga #9 US Dance #37 US R&B #58 UK

126. Forever & A Day/Kelly Rowland #49 UK

127. Pack Up/Eliza Doolittle #5 UK #6 Ireland

128. All Night Long/Alexandra Burke feat. Pitbull #1 Ireland #4 UK

129. Ridin’ Solo/Jason Derulo #2 UK #4 Australia #9 US

130. Shark In The Water/V.V. Brown #20 US AC #34 UK #67 US Pop

131. Any Which Way/Scissor Sister’s #81 UK

132. Just Be Good To Green/Professor Green feat. Lily Allen #5 UK #17 Ireland

133. Poison/Nicole Scherzinger #3 UK

134. Loving You Is Easy/Sarah McLachlan #14 US AC #59 Canada

135. Believer/Goldfrapp #31 US Dance

136. Te Amo/Rihanna #3 Poland #5 UK R&B #14 UK Pop #22 Australia

137. Miami 2 Ibiza/Swedish House Mafia Vs. Tinie Tempah #1 UK Dance/US Dance #4 UK Pop

138. Memories/David Guetta feat. Kid Cudi #3 Australia #7 US Dance #15 UK #46 US Pop

139. You Lost Me/Christina Aguilera #1 US Dance #28 US AC

140. Booty Bounce/Dev

141. You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me/Cher #8 US Dance

142. Please Don’t Let Me Go/Olly Murs #1 UK #5 Ireland

143. Starry Eyed/Ellie Goulding 34 UK

144. Who Wants To Be Alone/Tiesto feat. Nelly Furtado #10 UK Dance

145. Fire With Fire/Scissor Sister’s #1 US Dance #11 UK

146. Crossfire/Brandon Flowers #7 US Dance #8 UK #11 US Rock

147. Mama’s Song/Carrie Underwood #4 US Country #56 US Pop

148. Missing You/The Saturday’s #3 UK

149. Miss Nothing/The Pretty Wreckless #39 UK

150. Hey Baby (Drop It To The Floor)/Pitbull feat. T-Pain #10 Australia #27 US

The Attack

It started out like any other night. It was the Saturday night before Thanksgiving. My friends Greg & Sean came over for some drinks before we were to go out dancing. It’s kind of the ritual for us to pre drink at someone’s apt & normally it’s mine. After a couple of hrs we headed over to Bartini to meet the rest of the crew. Like usual there was drunken dancing & working the dancefloor with my girl Nicole. By the end of the night I was tired & as usual talks of going to the diner came about. Nicole, Scott & Danny (the dj at Bartini) were going to go to a nearby diner & I said, “I don’t wanna be a fat ass at 4 in the morning by eating. I just want to go home.” There has been plenty of nights where the booze has gotten the best of me & I wasn’t sure how I got home. This wasn’t one of those nights. Just a little buzzed & I just wanted to go to bed. So I left them & started to make my way home. I’ve made the walk a million times before considering this has been my ‘hood’ for most of the years I’ve been in NYC. I’d only walked a few blocks from Bartini & had turned on 48th & started to walk east when I heard my phone ring. So I pulled it out of my coat & saw that it was Nicole calling. I figured that it was them just trying to convince me to turn back around & meet them. I hit ignore & went to put my phone back in pocket when I felt someone grab me from behind.

For a moment I thought it was Scott or one of them being overly aggressive. I know how we can get after drinking. But the moment quickly fleeted when I felt a fist punch my right jaw. Another hit to the side happened & I managed to get away from the attackers grasp. In the quick moment that I saw him I could see he was a white guy with brownish short hair & looked in his 20’s. He went to swing again & I ducked & then I began to fight back. I got in some punches but very quickly & from behind someone sucker punched me in the head. A few more punches & then I kneeled over. At some point I must have dropped my phone & I’m assuming the 2nd guy grabbed it. They ran off & I was left in a kind of s shock. The whole attack lasted probably less than a minute & maybe even 30 seconds. For a moment I remember thinking ‘Did this really just happen?’ & then as I was looking down on the ground for my phone I saw blood dropping all over my shoes & jeans. I reached up to my nose & looked at my hands covered in blood. I reached back at the back of my head & felt wet as well & all I could think of was this was where I had a tumor.

In my semi state of shock I walked back to 10th Avenue to get a cab. One immediately stopped & he drove me to the hospital. They immediately took care of me. I’m assuming I looked a little rough with blood covered jeans & face & I’m pretty sure I was freaking out. X-Rays were done & the police were called. By the time they came I had made a couple calls to the only numbers that I could recall in that moment. In tears I left a message to Larry & Jordan telling them what had happened. I remember wondering just how did this happen & I was also worried that something would be broken. I also thought about how this was going to screw up my Thanksgiving & I was already in a slight depression because the next day would be the anniversary of Jason passing away. Needless to say it sucked. I found out that neither my jaw or my nose was broken & it wasn’t fractured. The police haven’t really been any help either. All I have is a case number. As a few days passed the bruises started to appear. The largest of them is the one on my bicep which is still there but fading. My jaw was swollen & I looked like a chipmunk & there was a black & blue mark under my eye. The worst thing physically has been my mouth. It’s now been 3 weeks & it still hasn’t healed. I’ve not been able to eat many things except soup & mashed potatoes & a few other things that don’t involve much chewing. With each day I hope I’ll wake up & it will feel better. So far no. The dentist says my mouth is in ‘trauma’ & I’m like no shit! I’m fucking hungry.

For days I avoided talking about it to even some of my closest of friends & only now seem to find the time & energy to write this blog. Talking about it isn’t the easiest because the main thing it’s left me with emotionally is anger. For a couple days I was afraid to leave the house which then lead to anger because I thought how dare any one make me feel this way. I’ve been here 10 yrs & I’ll be damned if any one has that power over me. So what I’m left with is anger. I want these 2 assholes to get what’s coming to them. I wouldn’t feel bad if they were dead actually. It’s hard to know that I have these kind of feelings about people I don’t even know, one in which I didn’t even see. I just want them to feel the pain that I’ve now been feeling for 3 weeks. As I sat at the hospital having to give my account to the officers one told me, “We don’t normally say this to victims but it’s probably a good thing you fought back.” I was a little confused & in my state at that moment all I could think of was they left me much worse off then I left the one asshole. Later I found out that that night there were a string of incidents that occurred & one guy was strangled.

Going through this was not easy but I do realize it could have been so much worse. As always I try to think positively. During the whole incident nothing was ever said by the 2 people. We’re assuming it was all over an I-phone. Tis the season for bad things to happen & in this economy I guess people are desperate enough to do anything. I’m just waiting to feel better than ok & I’m looking forward to being able to eat anything I want. I’m so sick of soup honestly. But I’m glad I was able to walk away. My friend EJ said, “I’m calling you the Unsinkable Mr. Padron.” Because I may be knocked down for a little bit but you can best believe I’m just come back harder.

Tricking With Treats

It’s a little after 4 & I’m here at work desperately thinking I should have taken off. I know everyone say Mondays suck & blah blah blah but lemme tell ya this one has been rough. All day long I’ve been not quite understand what people have been saying to me. As in they’ll be talking to me & I’m looking in a blank stare. I’ve accidentally kicked over trash cans & then knocked over my ravioli onto the floor. Then I happened to come across a sheet from last yrs Health Fair & saw my body fat has went up from 10.1 to 12.3%. Not acceptable. Boo hoo right? It still didn’t stop me from running around like I was Ice-T’s gf Coco showing all my junk to the world this weekend. Halloween weekend did me in folks. It totally tricked my treats & I had a blast. My roommates & I had a party on Friday night & just like Nickakah we had a house full of liquored up people. I took my bed out of my room & made it the club room once again. We had beer pong in the living room & the other rooms were VIP only. Ok VIP as in doing shots with roomies in case we ran out of liquor in the kitchen. Geoff & Becky dressed up as Roger & Joan from Mad Men, LD & her bf were chained together as a criminals dressed all in black & as for me. Well I called myself Disgo-go. I had my disco stick, one sequined glove & silver sequined suspenders. Any excuse to hardly wear clothes I’ll go with. Tons of the straight kids dressed up while a lot of my gays didn’t. One of my favorites was when I saw a Lady Gaga from the Telephone video. Much to my delight Ellen whipped out the Spoon Ellen coming as Snooki. We had Justin Beeber, nerds, farmboys, Sassy Gay Friend, quite a few cool things. The party raged on until 5 or so. I had not had any dinner bc I was so busy cleaning for it & how I wasn’t hungover the next day I have no idea.

I woke up early to try to get stuff done & then head to my last dance rehearsal for this Saturday’s show. By the end it though I was so hungry I was ready to pass out. So I booked it home & ate a little & then tried to prep for Saturday night’s party at Dana’s. Hmmmm Saturday night. Well so I hear it was a blast. There was tons of dress up galore that night. I had tried to go as a vampire but even with Paul’s help I couldn’t get my fangs to stay on. Then when I went to use the fake blood that I had just bought at Ricky’s I discovered it was all dried up! So basically $15 wasted. But the ho must go on. I put on the cape, had my black pants, gloves & called myself ‘Vamp in training’. So drinks & drinks & more drinks later I made my way to Xes then ventured off to Barage to take over the role of Sassy Gay Friend from Paul. Realizing that I was too done I went to the diner to get food & then as soon as I got home I went to sleep not eating any of it. Oh Halloween how you were a mess to me.

But all in all I had a blast & by yesterday all I could do was chill at home & try to clean from the party. I watched tons of stuff on the DVR & then watched scary movies. Then at around 10pm it was like I had a delayed hangover reaction & I got the worst headache. I couldn’t sleep it was so bad & so I took 4 advil just to try to knock it out. Later that night I had a dream that I had done a porn film & then everyone found out about it at work & I was fired. When I woke up I was so confused I actually thought the dream was real. Aye dios mio!!! I mean I know I like to run around in hardly any clothes but you have to draw the line somewhere.

And that was my weekend. I hope everyone had a good one. This upcoming weekend finds me finally dancing in the showcase that I feel we have been rehearsing for a year. In case you’re wondering….. we’re performing at the Harlem Stage at Aaron Davis Hall. Our number is called ‘Vanity’ & we’re all dressed up pretty hot or in some of our cases hardly anything at all. We go on at 8 & tickets are $20. If you can make it that would be awesome. I’ll provide the link below…..

http://purchase.tickets.com/buy/TicketPurchase?organ_val=26765&pid=6879921

Don't Ask, I'll Just Tell

I’ve been incredibly quiet (blog wise) for the past few months. I kept trying to get around to it & was inspired by a lot of things going on in my life but for the moment I’ll put those on the back burner. Today is National Coming Out Day as well as Columbus Day. How perfect is that? In honor of America being discovered I’m gonna share a little bit about discovering myself.

I remember it vividly. I was 5 & in Kindergarten. I was the type of kid that was always friendly & wanted to love & hug on everyone (Clearly not much has changed). I was especially this way around my friends at school. One of my friends was a boy named Seth. He was a cute kid with dark hair & we played together almost every day during recess. One day while on the playground I went to give him a kiss on the cheek. He pushed me away & said, “Eww, don’t you know you can’t do that?” Not understand I said, “No. Why not?” ”Because boys aren’t supposed to do that!” I was confused. I didn’t mean anything bad by it. Only that I wanted to show affection to my friend. It was clearly innocent but in that moment I remember thinking that this must be something bad & I can’t do or people will not like me. As I got older I understood more & more how people can react to you if you’re not like them. I remember being picked on by some boys for being able to do gymnastics & being able to dance. I was definitely not the sporty type & when you’re smaller than your bullies you can feel defenseless. It never got bad to a point of not wanting to go to school or anything severe as suicidal thoughts. I was popular & had friends (many of them girls) but I definitely remember thinking about getting out of town once I was grown.

I had my share of girlfriends. That wasn’t faked for sure. The girls that I dated & hooked up with I definitely had feelings for. But, for years I had also suppressed feelings that I had for boys. I remember just looking at it as idolizing them or wanting to be like them. It wasn’t until I moved to Wilmington that I actually decided to venture off into that world. Still feeling totally secretive about it I didn’t tell my friend Shuley about the new people I met. It was a week before my 21st birthday & I met this guy through my first gay friend in Wilmington. He knew I was questioning my sexuality & so we decided to hang out. We took a drive through the beach & then back to his place to hang out. I remember him playing The Velvet Rope cd by Janet. We had some of the best conversations that I had up until that point. Through much nervousness we ended up fooling around. Considering he had had boyfriends before he was able to deal with my inexperience. I remember feeling a way no girl had made me feel before but also that feeling that I was doing something wrong. The next day I went to work & on the drive there I thought I would have to pull over & throw up. For years & years I had been told it was wrong. My own mother always said ‘If you ever want to put me in an early grave just tell me you’re gay’. Eventually I stopped going to church because I just didn’t feel like it spoke to me. Between hearing races shouldn’t mix (attack #1) to that of homosexuality (attack #2) I just figured this was not for me. So for a while in WIlmington I went through guilt & was afraid to say anything to my straight friends. Luckily I had a good friend that had come out the month before me to rely on & discuss everything we had equally gone through. Much to my friends now surprise we had never hooked up. I don’t have those high school stories of random hook ups with other boys. That’s how deep under the surface I let it remain.

A few months later I moved to NY & started to meet what would become my core group of friends. We each have our stories. Some of us came out in high school, some of us came out much, much later. But the stuff that we have gone through as a whole seems to be universal. Even though I’ve lived here a while I still seem to see hate rear it’s ugly head. A few years ago at Halloween while walking down the street in Chelsea, we heard some kids (that’s right kids) using the F word & other hateful language. I couldn’t get over how innocent that they should be & why they would even know such things? Hate is taught & it’s a terrible thing. I thought if I had children I would make sure not to fill their head with such non-sense. The same kind of non-sense that has caused the recent reporting of so many young lives cut short. Zach Harington, Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh, Asher Brown, Billy Lucas, Justin Aaberg & what seems countless others have committed suicide. It’s unbelievable to me. This HAS to stop. I know it’s redundant to say ‘It Gets Better’ but honestly it does & it will. To me suicide is not an option. Giving up is not an option. Not having you in the world is not ok because that means we have one less person on our team to fight the fight with. You should be there to see that it’s gonna get better. You’ll look back & remember this & remember it made you a stronger person because you DIDN’T give up. Know that even if you don’t have family there are support groups. I’ve found my friends to become my main family. Friends that can love you for you. So forget about these stupid idiots. The world is a much better place with you in it.

So with that I say Happy National Coming Out Day. The more the merrier. As for the title of the blog you may have thought I would rant a little about that as well. I don’t think there is a need to. I’m pretty sure if you know me well enough you know my thoughts on it. I don’t need to walk around in a meat ensemble. For one last thing I’ll say I don’t want to be Tolerated. I want to be ACCEPTED